Sean waited outside the door to Melle's flat. From his one-point-eight-metre-high perspective he looked down at the worn mat that was struggling to say Welcome, and heard her calling out that she'd be right there. She already knew who was visiting because she'd had to buzz him through the main security gate. So he couldn't just change his mind and leave now. She'd heard his voice on the intercom and hadn't recognised it, so that had been the time to make his escape.

"Sean. You know, Robert's—"

"Oh! Yes, yes, come on up. It's four-oh-two. Well, obviously you already know that."

He wondered why it was taking her so long to open the door. Maybe she had someone in there or had been in the bath or shower. He looked at the window he supposed belonged to the bathroom. It was wide open and there was no hint of steam or bathroom smellies. He stepped back off the mat at the same time as a woman popped out of the next flat, looked at him suspiciously and hopped back inside. Within a few seconds she was peeking her head through the doorway again. "I'm not sure she's in."

"She's here. I'm just waiting for her to open up." He scratched the back of his head.

"Oh right, sorry." She smiled hesitantly, retreated and Sean heard a few locks click into place.

"I can come back another time," he said as loudly as he could without shouting. As he uttered the last word Melle's door swung inwards. "Oh." He looked down at her. She was almost a ruler's length shorter than he was.

"Sean, I'm sorry, come inside. I'll explain." She looked quite flustered and hurried to close the door as soon as he was in the passage with her.

"You don't have to explain anything. I shouldn't have just come uninvited. In fact, I can leave again right away." His fingers were curled around the door-handle.

Her embarrassment appeared to intensify, but this apparently didn't stop her from telling him what to do. "Shut up and come on into the lounge, all right?" So he had no choice but to follow her. With her place being a compact one-bedroomed apartment, it wasn't far to the sitting room. "I'm sorry, I was sleeping. I normally wouldn't even have answered the intercom phone if someone beeped me in the middle of the day and I wasn't expecting anyone, and, you know, they beeped while I was sleeping. Please sit down. And so I still had to get dressed and everything."

Sean grabbed the closest armchair and Melle flopped into the only other one, opposite it. "Anyway, so is everything all right? You wouldn't have said you could come back another time if something bad had happened to Robert or something, I suppose." She blinked at him nervously.

"Oh, no, I'm sorry if I worried you. I'm sure he's fine."

She smiled for the first time and her whole body seemed to relax, but then she stiffened and stood up. "I should have offered you something to drink by now. What's new? Bad hostess manners!" She chuckled and looked at him. "What would you like?"

"Oh, anything. I'm sorry I disturbed your sleep." Sean thought he didn't sound at all as if he was sorry and he didn't believe her anyway. Why would she be sleeping at three in the afternoon? And even if she had been, why get so embarrassed about it?

"Coffee okay? Or something cold?"

"Anything. Coffee would be good. Two sugars and definitely milk." He looked out at the balcony that appeared to stretch all the way from the lounge to the bedroom. A few bedraggled chrysanthemums were shivering in the wind and a walk to the balcony door showed that there was no one hiding out there. Of course. That would have been dumb. The bedroom door, leading off the lounge, was closed. So anyone could have been in there. Melle was in the kitchen making a noise with mugs and things. "Do you mind if I go out onto the balcony?"

"Er," was the only response he got, apart from what sounded like a spoon being dropped onto a tiled floor.

"I just wanted to see what it was like — the view and all that. Plus, the plants look like they need some water."

"I'm a bit embarrassed about that. I've lost the key and can't get out. Pathetic, I know. The only reason the flowers are still alive is because there's been enough rain. Once, I tried to throw some water onto them from that window in the lounge, but I missed badly. It fell far short." She was standing in the entrance to the lounge with a dishcloth and a sky blue mug when Sean turned around to look at her, one eyebrow raised. "Stupid, I know. I just haven't had the money to beg the landlord for a replacement key. I suspect he doesn't have the original either, so it will be a big locksmith fee and all."

"What about the door from the bedroom, have you lost that key too?"

"What?" She frowned and looked at her bedroom door. "You tried my bedroom door??"

"No! I mean the one that goes to the balcony from your bedroom."

"How do you know there's a—? I never had the key for that door." She returned to the kitchen looking a little annoyed.

Sean hovered between pursuing the subject and just shutting up. Her bedroom door had to be locked if she thought he'd 'tried' it. Why would anyone lock their bedroom door if no one were in the room? He decided to join her in the kitchen and nearly caused her to spill the mugs of coffee she was about to carry through to the lounge. "Sorry." He somehow helped to keep the mugs steady. "Which one's mine?"

"The shapey one." He was momentarily confused since she didn't simply say "the yellow one" instead. He took the vase-shaped one from her and they sat down, Sean choosing the two-seater couch this time. Melle had been about to return to her original armchair position, but changed her mind and joined him on the couch. Sean put his mug on the floor after a tentative sip. "You'll kick it over if you leave it there." Melle was eyeing the offending item disapprovingly.

"Right, then I'll just bring the coffee table closer, shall I?"

"I wouldn't try that if I were you," Melle warned. "It's just a piece of wood on a pile of bricks. You can't see the bricks because the tablecloth hangs to the floor."

Sean lifted a corner of the cloth to make sure she wasn't lying to him again. "Oh, clever. Well, I'll just stretch over when I want to pick up the mug again," he said, carefully depositing it onto a coaster. "Clever, an old computer disk as a coaster."

"No, it's really a computer disk." Melle jumped up, whisked his mug off the stiffie and pushed the black square into a pocket.

Sean started laughing. He couldn't help himself. "I'm sorry, I really am, but that was hilarious."

Melle frowned at him and then at the mug in her hand. She placed it on the table near his. "Look, I'm sorry about this, but I think I need my morning shower. I didn't get a chance for it with you turning up here and you obviously don't have anything important to talk to me about, so you won't mind just occupying yourself while I'm in the bathroom, will you?"

Sean bit a corner of his bottom lip and looked at her. "Go ahead. I'm sorry, I really am. Do you have any plans that I'm disturbing?"

"No. I won't be long." She disappeared into the bathroom, locking the door loudly behind her.

Sean pressed his head into his hands. He was surprised she hadn't kicked him out yet. He contemplated checking her bedroom door to confirm that it was locked, but shook his head at even considering it. Then his phone started ringing and he jumped. But it wasn't his, it was hers and the sound was coming from the bedroom. Oh, that's really funny, he thought, we have the same ringtone. "Er… your phone's ringing!" he called, trying to get above the sound of the shower.

"Leave it, I've got voicemail!" she responded immediately, and he thought he heard her dropping the soap.

That means she thinks I can get into her bedroom, Sean thought, wondering some more about this mysterious bedroom. And then his phone rang. "Hi. Yes… Yes... She's in the bathroom… Bye." Sean grimaced at the little black thing guiltily, sighed and slipped it back into his pocket. Then pensively sat sipping at his coffee while his eyes travelled around the quiet lounge. There wasn't much in it really, but then Melle was a student. He didn't see any textbooks or course notes lying around though, so it didn't look very studenty. Actually, it looked like she might be packing up. The three cardboard boxes on the carpet were the clue and a walk to the kitchen revealed a couple more standing open. It appeared that she had unpacked his curvy yellow mug even. Sean felt so bad about the inconvenience of it that he rinsed the thing and dried it. He heard the shower go off and crept back to the lounge. It took her a few more minutes to leave the bathroom though. She had got dressed there, back into the shorts and T-shirt she'd apparently hurriedly pulled on when he had arrived. Well, he could hardly expect her to come out in her towel and head to the bedroom via the lounge with him sitting there.

"I'm just going to give my hair a bit of a brush." He watched in anticipation as she pressed down on the bedroom door-handle. She definitely wasn't taking out a key to unlock the door. She was pushing at it. "It sticks," she explained.

He scanned her bedroom floor. It was in a bit of a mess and more boxes were visible. Oddly enough she didn't close the door behind her, but then again it would be a mission to re-open. "Are you moving, Melle?" She either hadn't heard him or was pretending she hadn't, he decided. "I hope you don't mind me using the toilet?" he asked, a little more loudly.

"Go ahead! Sorry, the bathroom's a bit of a disaster, like everything else."

He noticed she'd left the disk on top of her laundry basket. No writing on it. He lifted the lid of the basket and saw one of Robert's favourite T-shirts right at the top. "Hmmm." And then he used the loo, washed his hands with the tiny bit of soap he found, and returned to Melle.

She was in the lounge with her wet, combed, milk chocolate hair and was chugging down her lukewarm coffee. She brushed past him to get to the kitchen. He followed her and she looked cornered in the tiny room. "Oh, you've washed yours already, have you? Thanks."

Sean was quiet, arms crossed, leaning in the doorway. "So where are you going? Boxes everywhere…"

She had her back to him at the sink, rinsing her mug and the teaspoon. "I don't know. I was up all night packing." She turned to face him. "I'm not writing the exams and I've stopped going to classes."

"Well, there's only about a month left, why don't you just give it a go?" he asked, not sure what else to say.

She made a face. "I can't stand it any more. That's all."

"Do you feel better, after your shower?" he asked softly since she clearly didn't want to talk about her studies or lack thereof.

"No, I actually feel awful, but it doesn't matter. What is it you came to talk to me about?"

Oops, now what? thought Sean. He looked at her and widened his eyes unintentionally. "Er…" No longer was he slouching against the doorframe and he realised that he must look defensive, guarded.

"A sensitive subject, is it? Since you waited till Robert was going to be away for a week before you brought it up and since I have to drag it out of you." She frowned. "Don't you guys think I'm good enough for your favourite buddy, then?"

"What? Why do you say that? Everyone likes you."

She laughed in disbelief. "What rubbish. I've never felt so uncomfortable as when I am in the company of my dearest boyfriend's posse." She paused. "I can't believe I just said that. I'll probably get killed in my sleep tonight." Sean stared at her. "All right, what is it then?" Her newly crossed arms meant that her pose nearly mirrored his.

Sean scratched his head uncharacteristically. "Want me to try and help you with your English Literature?" She was in second year and he was in third and that was one subject she did that he'd also done. His eyes widened again since he hadn't known what he had been about to say.

"You're crazy," she laughed. "Freaking insane! I'm sure you didn't come here to offer to tutor me!"

"No, but seeing as you're thinking of dumping the whole year's work—"

"Excuse me, I'd better check who called me when I was in the bathroom." He got out of the way as she rushed to her bedroom. "It was just Robert to say he'd got there safely although I'd already assumed as much," she told him when she returned, watching his face. "Listen, I'm actually pretty hungry, but I have nothing to eat here. My stomach's been making noises for a while now—"

"Oh, is that what that was?" he joked. "Come on, I'll take you out for a breakfast."

"What? No, that's fine, I can manage to get my own. You can tell me what's up as we're leaving."

Harsh, thought Sean. She was already out of the door and he couldn't do anything but follow her. "I'm serious, I know where they make great all-day breakfasts," he tried.

She was standing at the lift waiting for it to arrive. "I don't think it's working. What's bloody new?" she grumbled, heading for the stairs.

"Yeah, it didn't look like it was working earlier. There were people kicking it when I got here," he told her and she actually laughed. Or, at least, her shoulders shook a little.

When they got to the bottom, he pointed and said, "There's my car, let me take you out."

"Okay," she conceded, looking defeated.

Sean smiled tentatively. "Cool. Let's go." And it suddenly struck him that the guy she'd probably had in her bedroom cupboard would be letting himself out of the flat right then, so he looked back up at the block. There was nothing to see on the fourth floor, but then a man left the stairway and glanced at them. "Do you know that guy?" Sean watched her face carefully.

"He lives here, but I don't know him. Why?" She looked at Sean and then back at the guy who was hurrying off.

He shrugged. "Just thought I saw him coming from your floor," he lied, hating himself. "And he looked at you."

"Well, he looked at you too, for what it's worth," she said rather abruptly.

He blinked and then followed her out of the gate to his Toyota Tazz, a car he had inherited from his mother when she got her new car earlier in the year. They didn't say anything to each other until they reached the little restaurant he had in mind.

"You sure they'll let me in dressed as I am?" she asked. "And I really don't think you should be going all out like this."

"Hello Sean," said the waiter at the door, much to Melle's surprise. "Haven't seen you in a while."

"Been busy," Sean said while making sure Melle wasn't running out.

"Table for two?" asked the guy, realising that Sean wasn't about to have a long conversation with him. Or else the manager was watching him.

"Yes, please." Sean was tempted to herd Melle ahead of him since she was hanging back looking embarrassed.

They were seated in a corner at a very cosy two-seater. "Not sure we'll be able to fit even two drinks onto this table," Melle mumbled, trying not to connect with Sean underneath.

"Can I take your drinks order?" asked their appointed waitress.

"Nothing for me, thanks," Melle said quickly.

"I'll have a Coke, thanks." Sean was glaring at Melle.

"Are you okay at this table? It's actually a one-seater normally, not sure why Tim put you here. I think I can find you another one, although we're busier than normal with the kitchen tea party going on in most of the restaurant today."

"Oh, is that why there are all these rowdy women here?" asked Sean. "I think we'll manage."

"Like hell we will," Melle muttered as the waitress went off.

"Have a look at the menu, will you?" Sean decided to ignore her grumpiness. He was struggling not to bump his feet or legs against hers under the table.

"Tsk, all right." She opened the menu and looked at it glumly. Moments later she lay it down and directed her eyes at him after uncreasing her face. "I'm sorry, Sean." She sighed heavily. "I'm really grateful and I'd love an English breakfast and you're really kind to do this." Sean melted. He hadn't realised how tense he'd been, how much her bad mood had affected him. He didn't have a chance to reply because the waitress was placing his Coke in front of him. "Do you mind if I have some tea?" Melle was sitting up properly and looking quite eager now.

"No, of course not. And two English breakfasts please. The big ones." Sean smiled at the waitress.

"I hope they'll fit onto your little table here," she said as she wrote down the order and after she'd asked them which bread options, egg options, etcetera, they wanted. "Also you get tea or coffee with that, so your tea's included in the price, ma'am. Would you like tea or coffee, sir?"

"Not right now, thanks. I think I'll have some tea after I've eaten, but I'll let you know when I'm done." Sean caught Melle watching him, but didn't think anything of it since she was, after all, right opposite him and there wasn't much else to do if you weren't interested in the hen party going on around you.

"So how do you know Tim at the door? Study with you?"

"No, I know him from here. I've been here often enough and I think he likes me."

Melle laughed. "Flirted with you, has he?"

"Almost fell into my lap once, ostensibly by mistake."

"You use big words, Mr English Major. Anyway, he must have tried to find us a bigger table then. It must have killed him to give us this one." She purposely nudged him with a knee.

Sean raised an eyebrow and bit a bottom lip corner. He opened his straw and had a sip of Coke in reply. He noticed Melle straining to catch a glimpse of Tim. "Oi, leave the guy alone. He knows I'm not that way inclined now and he's all right anyway."

"Well, good to hear you're not homophobic!" she said seriously.

"Didn't you want to call Robert back?" he asked after a struggle with himself.

"I don't think he expects me to." She was sitting back while the waitress settled her teapot and cup onto the table.

"I really don't think we're going to fit both plates onto this table, guys." This after calling them ma'am and sir before.

"Bring them one at a time then," suggested Melle, causing the waitress to giggle and Sean to wonder if she was serious.

"Well, they're busy with both already, so then the second plate won't be as fresh," the waitress played along. "Hang on, looks like we have a bigger table for you two. Come with me. I'll move your drinks for you."

Melle and Sean looked at each other and then carried their own drinks, Sean insisting on grabbing the teapot for Melle. "You've got your saucer to carry as well."

In the middle of a quiet breakfast, twice as far from each other now, Melle said, "You still haven't told me what you came about."

Sean nodded. "No, I haven't." He frowned and thought of his little lie about the guy at the block of flats and realised that he still wasn't convinced that she hadn't had someone in her room. "Were you really asleep when I got there, was that really the reason you didn't get to the door sooner?"

He watched her put down her fork carefully. "Sean, do you think I'm cheating on him?"

"I just thought it was strange, that's all, having your bedroom door closed and, well, sleeping that time of the day."

"For godsake! I told you I was up at all hours packing! And the bedroom was a terrible mess as you would have seen later." She looked as if she wasn't planning on finishing her meal. "You think that guy was in my flat, don't you? I can't believe it."

"Is everything all right?" The waitress.

"No, it's not." Melle.

"Oh, I'm sorry, what's wrong?"

"Just lost my appetite, that's all, nothing for you to worry about."

"Did something put you off?" she persisted.

"Yes, but it wasn't the food. I would like to pay for my part of the bill though."

"I'm sorry, ma'am, no split bills, and I really—"

"Can you give us a minute, please?" Sean asked the waitress firmly.

"Certainly." She almost ran off.

Melle was emptying her wallet onto the table. "Ah Melle, don't! I'm sorry."

"Don't make a scene, Sean. Just take the money and finish your meal. I'll catch a taxi back or something. I've got more packing to do anyway."

"Where will you go?" Sean knew it was pointless to fight about the money right then, but he needed to stop her from running off.

"To my lover. Where do you think?" Other people were looking at them now and Sean was scratching his head. He wondered if he had dandruff. As he watched her walking out he thought that perhaps banging his head on the table would help. Instead he whipped out a note that would cover his meal plus a large tip and left it with Melle's scattered money before dashing out.

He caught up with her. "Let me at least give you a lift back home, all right?"

"Haven't you got to call Robert and tell him about the guy I'm cheating on him with?" she asked, terribly calmly.

"Yes, but I don't care about that." Sean knew that would stop her.

"I'm sorry? You've really been checking up on me for him?"

"Not any more." He couldn't believe how feeble that sounded. "Anyway, I didn't want to. And it wasn't as if he expected you to be up to anything, but he thought you might…"

"I might what?"

"I think he thought you would be easily seduced." Sean couldn't believe he was telling her this. "And I didn't really see that guy on your floor."

Melle started doing something on her cellphone. Sean asked her what she was up to. "Deleting his goddamn name and number from my phonebook, of course."

"Robert's?"

"That's right. And you can tell him and the rest of his posse that I never want to see any of them ever again. And that includes you after you drop me at my place." She walked to his car and waited.

Sean meekly made the drive back. "I'm sorry, Melle, I honestly am."

"You think you're so hot, do you?"

"What do you mean?"

"You thought I'd jump into bed with you?"

"No, it was Robert who—"

"Why would you go through with this whole charade then? I mean, what was in it for you? Or are you just his little slave-boy?" The car had stopped and she burst out of it and headed for the stairs after opening the gate. "Well?"

Sean couldn't believe she was expecting to carry on the conversation in public like this. Luckily there wasn't anyone about, but no doubt the people in the nearby flats could hear every word. He joined her at the foot of the stairs. "Can't we talk inside?"

"If you'll help me pack," she said unexpectedly.

"Where are you really going to when you leave this place?" he asked once they were inside.

"Back home, I suppose. Do you know how old I am?"

"Um, twenty-three?" he asked, scared of her reaction.

"Twenty-five and quitting in the middle of my second year." Sean was surprised. He would never have thought that she was that much older than he was, although he knew she was around Robert's age. "And you're what? Twenty-one, twenty-two?"

"Twenty," he said, embarrassed.

"Oh wonderful." She sighed and collapsed onto the sofa. "So what are you going to tell him about me?"

"Nothing."

"Was it him calling you earlier after my phone rang?"

"Yup, checking I was here," he replied unhappily.

"Why on earth would you try to do what you did or whatever?"

He sat on the floor near her. "I've always done whatever he's wanted, I've always followed him around. What an idiot, I can't believe what an idiot I've been and how pathetic that sounds."

"How long is 'always'? He's four years older than you — how did you get into his company? You don't even study the same stuff."

"He's my cousin."

"Your cousin? For godsake!"

"Our fathers are twins."

"I can't believe it."

Sean hung his head and started scratching it. "Oh bugger, why do I keep doing that? Do you see any dandruff from your vantage point?"

"No," she said too quickly. "I'm not looking, you must be mad. Next you'll be telling your cuz I was running my fingers through your hair."

He laughed. "I'm not telling the bastard anything. You can count on that."

"Why all of a sudden? Has the lamb become a ram?"

He laughed. "Did you make that up?"

"Yes, doesn't really work though." She lay down on the couch. "I'm so tired, I can't believe I have all this packing to do."

"Don't you have to give notice?"

"I have, but they haven't looked for anyone else yet, so I could still change my mind."

"You sound as if you might." His eyes reached out to her supine body and he wanted to touch her skin. The closest he'd come to it was when he'd taken his coffee mug from her.

"I don't want to go back home and that's my only other option."

"How far away is it?"

"Ten hours."

He frowned. "Pretty far. Do your parents know you've quit?" She hesitated as if she was going to say something and then shook her head and sighed heavily. "Does Robert?"

"No, that's why I only started packing when I knew he'd be away. To be honest, I thought I'd be gone by the time he came back."

This startled Sean. "You mean you were planning a surprise break-up?"

"It would have just been easier that way. But now he's made it even easier. Now I feel no guilt. I should be dancing around."

"Why do you not want to be with him any more?"

She shrugged. "Not interested in him. Don't forget to tell him, will you?"

"I should go," he said, standing up and making sure he had his car keys in his pocket.

"I thought you were helping me pack!" She hopped up and gave him a fierce look.

"What if you got a job around here? Would you stay then?" he asked, eyeing the boxes anxiously.

She shrugged. "Too good to be true. You got a job for me?"

"Well, I could perhaps hook you up with something. Don't pack any more. I'll call you later or tomorrow if you give me your number." She laughed. "I'm serious. I've got connections. Honestly, I don't even pay full tuition fees."

"Sounds illegal."

"Nope, it's just knowing people. Comes from living in Denton all my life."

"Where are you off to now?" She found that she was half-trying to keep him there.

He didn't know. "Home, I guess. Again, please accept my apology for what I came to do here today. I didn't actually do any of it apart from being on your case about you having a lover. I mean, everything I did otherwise was entirely sincere and I honestly didn't really think you would fall for me." He blushed and, damn it, scratched his head again.

"Come here, let me have a look at your scalp," she said grabbing his wrist and pulling him back down to floor level, while seating herself on the couch. She'd barely brushed her fingers over his soft and shortish wavy black hair when she said, "Really, there's nothing there. Must just have been goosepimples."

"You must be right," he managed, unable to stand back up again.

"Glad you didn't have Brylcreem in your hair, that would have been pretty yucky work for me."

He laughed. "Yeah, but maybe it would have suffocated the lice."

"Ew come on, I'm sure your hair is perfectly healthy." She ruffled it and Sean leaned his head into her hand before she could take it away. She let him rest it there in her palm and he closed his eyes. "You know, I don't have a clue about massaging scalps," she chuckled nervously. And then tentatively used all her fingers to gently rub his head.

"Mmm." Sean relaxed, but not for long because suddenly she pushed his head back up, gently but firmly.

"Sean, I shouldn't be doing this. Come on, you'd better go."

"I told you I should go," he said, springing up and hurrying out.

{Bookmark 1 - you are one-fifth of the way through this document}

The next day he was buzzing Melle again. "Hi, it's Sean, I've got a locksmith here for you."

Strangely enough she didn't say anything, just let him in, and was already standing with the door open when they reached the flat. "Sean, you didn't have to do this. I can't afford to pay."

"Oh, it's free of charge, don't worry," said the smiling man with Sean. "I'll even sort the other door out for you." He looked about forty and she'd met him before.

"This is my dad," said Sean. "Melle." Okay, so she hadn't met him before — he was Robert's father's identical twin.

"Wonderful to meet you at last. We keep telling Robert to come over with you, but he obviously has other things on the go all the time. My wife and I have been wanting to meet you. Keep hearing how pleased his mother is that he's got this lovely girlfriend and he never gives us the pleasure of meeting you."

"Please come inside," she said, moving aside and glaring at Sean as he passed her.

"Will you come back with us when my dad's done, Melle? I've got this promising job opportunity for you. Would you be all right working in a bookshop?" Sean asked minutes later while the balcony doors were being picked.

Melle stared at him. "I haven't even decided that I'm staying here," she hissed.

"Well, you can decide after you check out the job, all right?" He looked pleased with himself.

Half an hour later Melle was meeting her potential boss who showed her around and told her what she'd need to do. "As long as you read, and you must do if you've been studying English Literature, you'll make a world of difference in the shop."

"Don't you need to interview me?"

"Oh, I think I know enough. You're Robert's girlfriend anyway, so you're basically family."

"I tried to introduce you," interrupted Sean. "But she just kept on talking," he apologised to Melle. "This is my mother."

Melle actually had to hold her left wrist with her right hand to prevent herself from swinging her arm out and whacking Sean. "Right, I'm pleased to meet you, Mrs—"

"Lily, just call me Lily, none of that Mrs stuff. Please come and help me out here, I would be so chuffed."

"It sounds great, thanks. I—"

"Oh, fantastic!" Melle found herself wrapped in a hug and thought she was about to be swung around, but luckily Lily stopped herself in time. When Melle looked at Sean he was scratching his head.

And then two schoolgirls entered the shop. "Hello everyone," said one of them. "Mom, have you got yourself an assistant?"

"Melle, this is my sister, Paula, and this is Keira." Sean looked as if he had been about to say more, but then decided against it.

The telephone had started ringing and Lily went off to retrieve it, looking annoyed that she couldn't share her excitement with her daughter.

"Great to meet you," Paula said. "Can't wait for the days when I don't have to spend half my life in a schooldress. So I've got to make sure I pass this year. Better go and study. Keira, I'm going to change out of this thing. See you soon." And she hurried off.

"Are you always so quiet?" Keira asked Melle who was suspicious of how closely the eye-catching girl was standing to Sean.

"Shell-shocked," Melle stated, looking around the bookstore and then at Sean. "I should go. Will you tell your mother goodbye from me? I'll give her a call later." She scanned the Booked bookmark in her hand. The number was definitely on it.

"Okay, no problem," he said softly, and Melle noticed that Keira was holding Sean's hand now and that he was looking flushed.

"I'll come along if you're giving her a lift, yeah? Although… Paula and I are meant to be learning some Biology. So maybe not." Keira stood on tiptoe and kissed his cheek. "See you soon. Don't be long. Melle, it was nice to meet you."

"So you two are dating then?" Melle asked suddenly.

"Been together half a year already. Meeting him was easy, with Paula being my best friend. Sean and I have known each other since I was a toddler! Anyway, I'd better go."

Sean and Melle were entirely quiet in the car.

"Come inside, will you?" Melle said calmly, but as if she was ordering him, when they got to her place. So Sean turned off the car and followed her. As soon as they got inside she exploded. "What the hell do you think you're up to??" Sean's eyes widened and he took a step back right into the front door. "You've got the whole world thinking I'm some happily ever after girlfriend of that freak cousin of yours!! You've made me stay in this town — how on earth am I supposed to get away from him now?? And what the fuck were you doing trying to seduce me when you've got a pretty little girlfriend hanging around you? I wonder what she thought you were up to yesterday! Where did everyone think you were?" She was getting quieter towards the end and dropped onto the couch, tears in her eyes.

Sean sat next to her. "I didn't say anything about you still being his girlfriend. I just said Melle this and that because they already knew your name." He wanted to comfort her, but suspected she'd attack him if he touched her. "I thought you knew or that Robert might have told you I had a girlfriend and I was never actually going to cheat on Keira yesterday."

Melle laughed bitterly. "So if I offered to massage your head again now, what would you do?"

"Er…" Sean blinked at her. "That's not cheating. You can go to massage places or whatever and get that done quite legally and innocently." He started blushing.

"Shouldn't you be getting back to your lovebird?" she asked after a few moments of silence.

"She's studying, isn't she?"

"Well, she is expecting you back immediately. What will she think?" Sean smacked his head into his hands, elbows on his knees. "Do you have feelings for me, Sean?" He stayed where he was, frozen. "Since when?"

Sean lifted his head and looked at her. "Before yesterday."

"I suppose Robert doesn't know."

"Well, of course not. He would never have asked me to… you know."

"I can't believe it. This is crazy." Her phone rang. "This is Robert's number," she said, in a monotone. "Well, I'm not answering. He can fuck off. You tell him that for me, will you?" She pressed the red button and then for good measure switched off the phone.

A minute later Sean's phone rang. "Guess who." He ended the call. "No doubt he'll be suspicious now and call my home number." He leaned back and sighed deeply.

Melle pondered briefly and then asked, "What now? Are you sure I should work for your mom?"

"Let's go out onto the balcony."

"Yeah, via the bedroom exit since I've never used that one before," she laughed.

Sean followed her into the bedroom and lingered in it while she returned to the lounge to find the key his dad had given her. "It's actually pretty big, your bedroom," he said when she returned. "Nice bed."

She laughed. "You have a nerve. Here you go. You open the door. I'm going back to get some water for those dying flowers."

The balcony was furnished with two white cast-iron patio chairs and just the one long planter. "Hang on, before you chuck in the water, let me get some more of this crap out of here. Give the real plants a chance." He crouched and started ripping out long grass and dandelions. Melle braved a dusty chair and watched him getting his hands dirty. She had an urge to lean forward and play with his hair. "Doesn't look like much now, but bound to get better. I can bring you some bright sun-loving plants from our garden. I can go back now and do it right away." He stood up, grimy hands at his sides but away from his body.

"You've got your jeans all dirty." She brushed at one of his knees and then the other. "Better wash your hands too."

"Maybe you could wash them for me?" he asked lamely.

"No, but I'll allow you to use the basin." Sean knew he deserved the gentle rebuff and was surprised when Melle followed him into the bathroom. "I need to open a new soap." He started rinsing his hands while she plucked a bar of soap out of the mirrored cabinet and tore it open. She passed it to him under the tap and her fingers tingled against his. "You've made quite a mess of your hands."

"It's like someone put freaking charcoal in that soil. I dunno." His phone came to life.

Melle smiled. "Want me to get that out of your pocket for you?"

"If you don't mind," he replied before he could think about it. She tugged it out of his left back jeans pocket and showed it to him. The screen read: Home. Melle pressed the green button and held the phone to his ear while he turned off the tap. "Hello? Yeah, I'm fine," he said, drying his hands on the hand-towel and grimacing because they had obviously not been entirely clean, so he'd dirtied the towel. "Was he?" He took the phone from Melle. "Is she?" He rolled his eyes at her. "I thought she had to study anyway. What would be the point of me hanging around her?" Melle was about to leave the bathroom, but he grabbed her wrist and kept it while he listened to the subsequent monologue. Eventually he sighed and said, "Well, if Robert calls again tell him to get lost, okay? I'm tired of him bossing me around all the time. Let me speak to Keira." Pause. "Mom, I don't care if Robert wants to know what I'm doing with his girlfriend. Really, I'm not going to talk about this right now. And never mind about Keira. I'll see you later. Bye." He disconnected and switched off the phone. "Man, I am in such shit." He looked at Melle. "And I'm sorry about your towel."

"It's fine, straight into the laundry though." She lifted the basket lid and chucked it in.

Sean sat on the toilet lid. "Oh God."

"We haven't done anything. Really, go home. All will be well, I'm sure."

"I don't want to go home. They're after my blood. Robert is their favourite."

"How can he be your parents' favourite? He's their nephew."

"Yes, but… well, I can't really explain, not in a few words. Actually I can't explain it at all. And I can't bear seeing Keira. I'm not in the mood for all that crying and freaking out when I break up with her. It wouldn't be the first time. I mean, I tried a couple of times before, but she broke me down."

"You're going to break up with her?"

"I think it would be a good idea."

Melle offered him a hand. "Come on, let's go and see what we can find to eat."

Sean narrowed his eyes at her inviting palm and stood up. "Do you have any feelings for me at all or think you might have sometime?"

"Hmm." Melle seemed to consider the question carefully.

Sean blinked rapidly and made for the door. "Never mind, let's find some dinner or lunch or whatever."

"Sean?" She'd followed him back to her bedroom.

"Yeah?" He appeared to be locking the balcony door.

"Do you think you might only like me because Robert did? Him being the big cousin you always looked up to?"

Sean made a face. "I've never liked any of his other girlfriends and I suppose one reason I agreed to check up on you was so that I could find a reason not to like you any more. It's not at all my scene to be after one of— someone he's sleeping with or whatever."

"Sleeping with? Who told you I was sleeping with him?? In his dreams!" She blushed. "Never mind, I suppose it was a reasonable assumption to make."

Sean unlocked the balcony door again and took his time watering the plants, and then came back inside with the watering can and locked up. "Well, I'm surprised you aren't. Weren't." It took a chunk of guts to say this, so he did it without looking at her.

"Why, because he sleeps with everyone he sees? Yes, he certainly used to." Sean's eyes raced up to her face. "I wasn't ready to, not after I knew his reputation. And he refuses to get HIV-tested, so I'm sorry, but that's his loss."

"Why did he stay with you then? I mean, I don't mean you're not worth more than sex, it just doesn't sound like him."

"Deep down he's probably concerned about the HIV thing himself. Also… I suppose he can't imagine breaking up with someone before sleeping with her."

Sean bit his bottom lip. "Could be he loves you deeply."

Melle laughed. "Honestly, Sean, you're a riot. I doubt he does."

"You should call him and break up with him if you're going to."

"Don't tell me what to do. You should go over to Keira and do the same with her."

Sean pulled a face. "Oh please don't make me. I'll probably have my sister at my neck too."

"Damn, I'm tired." She eyed her bed and sighed.

"Me too. Couldn't sleep last night. I felt so bad about deceiving you yesterday."

"Well, you could try out my nice bed."

Sean raised an eyebrow and laughed. "You're kidding, right?"

"Not at all." She walked over to the bed and fell onto it.

Sean stood looking at her. She sat up and untied and pulled off her Island Styles. And lay back down again. "I really need a nap, Sean, more than I need food."

"Want me to make something for dinner meanwhile then?"

"Don't you trust yourself on a bed with me?"

"Not really, no," he said seriously.

"Come here, Sean." He stayed put. "All right. I'd better get up and go to the shops if you're cooking. You won't even find cooking oil in the kitchen." She laced her shoes.

"Why'd you do that to me?" he asked before she could leave the room.

"Do what?"

"Play with my feelings. Here, put your hand on my chest and feel my heart."

Melle frowned and then did as he told her. "Racing," she murmured. "I wasn't. Playing with your feelings. I promise." She slid her arms around him and put an ear to his heart, closing her eyes and holding him. Sean pulled her closer and breathed into her hair. He kissed the top of her head gently and sighed. "I'm deeply attracted to you," she admitted. "Deeply."

He squeezed her and couldn't speak, so they just stood there, bonding. Sean unpeeled himself first. He cleared his throat. "I should go home and sort out whatever needs to be sorted out. I'm sorry I won't be here to make your dinner."

"Right, I'd better switch my phone back on and give Robert a call."

"I'd better check what's been left on mine so I can prepare myself on the way home." They fiddled with their phones, simultaneously setting off furious beeping noises. They giggled in reaction, but abruptly shut up in light of the seriousness of the situation. "I still don't have your number," said Sean after muttering about having two missed calls. They exchanged strangely similar strings of digits. Then Melle saved Sean's home number and the shop number.

"Well, it looks like Robert tried calling me again a few times," she sighed.

"I'll call you later, yeah?" Sean said, backing out of her bedroom.

"Whenever," Melle said lightly. When he looked hurt she added, "I may call first." Sean smiled.

When Sean had left the complex, she rang Robert. "Hey," he answered immediately and, unexpectedly, didn't start yelling at her. They were quiet for a long moment.

Melle was the first to have her say. "You're a bloody bastard for trying to get Sean to check up on me." Despite her words she was surprisingly calm.

"Oh he told you that, did he?" he replied, his voice even.

"I'm sorry?"

"To get into your pants."

"He hasn't been in my pants, all right?" She was angry now.

"Do you really think I would send my terribly good-looking cousin to you? I would have known you wouldn't have been able to resist and I don't want to lose you."

Melle narrowed her eyes and sat on her bed. "You don't seem to be surprised — you seem to have your answers all planned."

"Well, I know Sean, don't I? He's pretty smooth." Melle kept quiet and thought about Sean refusing to join her on the bed. "Listen, Melle, I have something to tell you. I know I kept this week of mine quiet. Maybe you thought I was off cheating on you, and so were even more easily won over by Sean, and don't worry, I'm going to deal with him, but apart from having told you I was visiting my parents, I didn't say much else, did I?" Melle waited. "I went for that HIV/AIDS test thing. I wasn't going to say anything till I was back with some results, but considering this thing of Sean spending so much time with you, I thought I'd better tell you." For the first time, he was sounding nervous.

"Good for you," she struggled to say. "That's great."

"My parents don't know or anything. I wouldn't want to worry them and it's obviously embarrassing. Hey, my aunt says you're going to be working in her bookshop — that's awesome! How are you going to fit it in with the studying and classes and all though?"

"I'm not studying any more. I've quit. I was going to go back home, but I'm not any more." She knew there was no feeling in her voice. "Good luck with your test results. I've got to go."

"Hey, hey, you can't just tell me that and then bugger off. I'm still pissed off about you putting the phone down on me and shit. And obviously most of all I can't wait to get my hands on Sean, but I'm pretty mad at you too."

"Oh thanks, thanks for the consolation prize. And I think you're lying about Sean."

"He's always wanted you, do you think I don't know that? It would be bloody stupid of me to send him over to you, wouldn't it?"

"Well clearly you don't trust me anyway. It takes two, you know."

"I'm just saying, if I didn't trust you and I wanted to test you, I'd be mad to send Sean of all people. He's my little cousin. He's always wanted what I've had. Hanging around my friends and me all the time too, haven't you noticed? Oh yeah, I know, you thought he was one of my buddies, well think about it in retrospect now. He's just a kid really and he's got a girlfriend who's in high school for godsake. Sleeping with a kid. Not that he hasn't messed her around plenty of times. But she doesn't know. Well, it ends now." He paused. "Fuck, my girlfriend doesn't even believe me any more."

"I'm not your girlfriend any more," Melle said, disconnecting. She squeezed her eyes shut until they hurt. The phone rang again and she pressed the red button to stop the call from Robert. She tried ringing Sean, but it went straight to voicemail. Considered calling his home number, but didn't feel like talking to him while his family was probably within earshot. Besides, they may not even let her speak to him. She wasn't sure she actually wanted to speak to him anyway. The phone rang again — Robert. "What?"

"You can't just break up with me and then hang up! It's bad manners to break up on the phone anyway."

"Well, you're far, far away. And I was going to anyway before this whole episode happened. I'm sorry, I don't see the point of pretending until you get back any more."

"Then why didn't you do it before I left?" he asked quite reasonably.

"I only made up my mind when you'd already gone."

"We could have discussed it if you were considering it! What have I done wrong? And now I've done the HIV test, so if it was that…"

"I'm not— look, Robert, we can discuss the reasons face to face, but there's not much point. It's over."

"You can probably say goodbye to that job at the shop now."

"Go to hell." She hung up on him again. This time he didn't ring back. He was probably calling Sean, or perhaps not.

Melle decided she'd better take a walk to the Pick 'n Pay down the road. She chucked her phone into her bag and headed off, trying not to think about Sean or Robert, but obviously that didn't work too well. "Remind me never to get involved with anyone with the surname Keane again," she muttered to herself. "Keane. Bloody Keane. Too bloody keen!" She couldn't be bothered to check if anyone was watching her.

While she was grabbing a basket at the entrance, her phone started ringing. "Hello?"

"Hi Melle. How are you? I was just wondering if you were all right." Her father. Mr Telepathy himself.

"Hi Dad, I'm okay, thanks. Just doing some grocery-shopping right now."

"Really okay? Or you're just saying that since you're out in public? Everything all right with Robert?"

"He's with his family at the moment."

"Oh! Did he fly there? Just a visit then?"

"Yes, he's away for a week."

"Well, you know you can speak to me if you've got problems. I miss you." She couldn't prevent the tears reaching her eyes. And couldn't speak for a few seconds. "I'm sorry. You're shopping. Call me later when you're home, all right? Or else I'll ring you." He knew that her silence hadn't been as a result of a distraction.

"Okay, Dad. Bye." Crap, now she was going to have to tell him some of it. That was the problem with having a mother and father in one person. Her birth mother hadn't been ready to rear a child, so she'd handed Melle over to the father who had turned out to be gay. She sighed. "Bloody hell."

"Ja, the price is ridiculous, isn't it?" Melle realised she was standing opposite the cheese and that the woman next to her thought she was remarking on the mature cheddar price. Desperately wanting to be in a place where tears were allowed to run freely, she got only as far as selecting a slightly cheaper cheddar, a loaf of toaster bread and a litre of milk before hurrying out via an express till.

When Melle got home she found Sean at the gate having a heated conversation on his phone. And then he spotted her. "I've got to go. Cheers." He switched off the phone. "Melle, I thought I'd better come over instead of calling you. I thought you might have gone to the shops when you didn't answer the intercom thing. And then my mother called giving me another earful. What's wrong? Did you speak to Robert — was he awful?" Melle didn't know what to do or say. "Let me take those bags for you."

She tightened her hold on them. "So did you break up with her?" was all she could think to ask.

"Er no, that's what I came to talk to you about. I mean—" He stopped, not understanding what was going on. "Can we go and talk inside?" A whole troop of people had arrived at the gate and they were trying to beep someone who wasn't answering. "Or just anywhere else really."

"Does this thing work?" the woman in the scarf asked Melle.

"Yes, maybe they're not home."

"They must be, they knew we were coming. Press it again, Sharief. Just press it!"

Melle knew what was coming next — they would try to go in when she opened the gate and she didn't have the heart to deny them, so she said to Sean, "Let's go to your car."

As soon as they were inside, he said, "My mother nabbed me as soon as I got home. Wanted to know what was going on. The next thing she said before I could say anything was that Keira and Paula had their matric exams coming up and I wasn't to upset them. And that she was very worried about me. After speaking to Robert she decided I was after you. Anyway, I didn't really know what to say to her although I was still set on breaking up with Keira. I still am. She'd left by the time I got home and tried calling me a couple of times while I was talking to my mother, but I switched off my phone. After I got away from my mother I saw the missed call from you and I just had to come here first."

"Robert had a different view of things."

"You mean he wouldn't admit to what he'd done?"

"He said he would never send his 'terribly good-looking cousin' to try and seduce me especially since he knows you fancy me." She watched his face.

Sean's eyes widened. "Jesus Christ!" He frowned worriedly. "He's lying," he said softly. "He had no idea I liked you. Why would he send me if he thought I liked you? And he did. I was a complete idiot for—" He found his head in his hands. "Oh my God."

"He's apparently gone and done his HIV test."

Sean looked at her in surprise. "You believe him about all of this, don't you?"

"He said you were smooth and you'd cheated on Keira before."

Sean looked startled. "Oh really? Melle, you're not just making this up, are you? That he said that?" He sighed when she shook her head slowly. "Are you still with him? Going out with him, I mean?" he asked, stuttering a bit.

"Where's the relevance?" she asked, feeling wicked.

"Relevance?" He was looking even more hurt than he had before. "You mean because I haven't split up with Keira or because… you hate my guts?"

"Maybe you should sleep with her a few more times before you break up with her."

"Oh my God." He started chewing the inside of his lower lip. Then he switched on his phone. "Right, dial his number, wait for him to answer and then watch me speak to him. Or better yet, hang on, I'll use the speaker thing, the hands-free and then you can listen. I'll tell him I'm driving because he'll know I'm on the hands-free." He tried and just got Robert's voicemail. "Fuck." He hit the steering wheel. And then rested his head on it.

Melle watched him and tears came to her eyes. She blinked them away, cleared her throat and said, "I'm starving. Let's go inside. I'll make snackwiches. You haven't had supper yet, have you?"

"I've got to go and speak to Keira," he said, lifting his head. "Whether you believe me or not, whether you're still with Robert or not. You're right, there's no relevance."

"I'll make some extra cheesies in case you decide to come and have dinner here." She opened the passenger door.

"Melle."

"Yes?" she asked from the pavement.

"I'm not sure I will be able to come back. I don't think I deserve dinner anyway, but the thing is, Keira's pretty… feisty. I don't know how soon I'll be able to leave and her parents will probably give me a tough time too. Oh and my dad works for her dad too, so he’ll never hear the end of it, I suppose. Thanks for giving me so many chances to explain things. I understand that you will believe Robert. You've been together for over a year. Take care, all right?" It looked as if every word was painful to say.

As soon as Melle was inside the premises, he sped off. She made three sandwiches and could only nibble at one. She sighed and sent Sean a text message. She didn't get a receipt for it and realised that his phone was off. About half an hour later her phone beeped, telling her he'd received the SMS. Eight minutes later he was at the gate. "Listen, you can park your car inside, the bay number is twenty-three."

She opened her door to a breathless Sean. "Damn, I'm unfit. When are they fixing that freaking lift?" Despite the joking tone, he was clearly taking a lot of emotional strain.

She handed him a plate of crispy snackwiches after he dropped onto the couch. "How'd it go?"

"She was alone there. So I didn't have to face her parents." He chewed his top lip. "She said—" He stopped himself.

"What?" Melle sat next to him.

"Basically she thought if she slept with me, I'd stay with her. It's not true what Robert told you, I've never had sex with her. Anyway, she was pretty vicious, I don't want to talk about it."

"Does she think you're after me, then?"

"Yes." He started eating. "Went on about how she was a virgin and so it would be better for me with her. God. I just left as soon as I could before I was tempted to physically hurt her. Well, she managed to hit me a few times. It's what I expected anyway." He put down his first sandwich, having only had a bite out of it. "Have you eaten, then?"

Melle pointed to her plate on the table. "Just a little."

"Lost your appetite or what? I think I've lost mine."

"I've a good mind to go over to her and kick the living daylights out of her! Where did she hurt you??"

Her passionate reaction embarrassed Sean, but he felt flattered. "I'm fine, no lasting pain." He put his plate on the table. "Thanks for that message earlier. About you believing me. I wasn't going to come back here. I was really upset. I mean, I still am, but I couldn't bear it, thinking you didn't trust me. But what will you do about Robert now?"

"Sean, I've already told him it's over. I ended it earlier when I first spoke to him. It wasn't relevant whether you were lying or not."

"Jeez. Brave." He stared at her. "He must be furious."

"He can fuck himself."

"Too right he can." He started eating again and it wasn't long before he'd finished. "Come on, you've got to eat."

She found that she could and was still hungry afterwards. Sean got up to grill more snackwiches. She followed him into the kitchen. "I'll make some coffee."

"Come here," he said, taking her wrist and pulling her to him. They heard her phone ringing in the lounge, but left it in favour of a heart-racing hug.

"It could have been my dad," Melle said right after it had stopped. "Shit. Probably was and now he's going to think I'm dead or something." She explained about the call earlier.

"Well, go and phone him then. I've got to get these snackers done." He kissed her forehead and then they gazed at each other until she pulled his head down and kissed him on the lips. Before Sean could react she eased out of his arms and went off to call her father. Sean heard her mention Robert's name and could also tell she was talking about her studies. Only when he was taking the coffee and grilled sandwiches into the lounge did she say goodbye. "Do you talk to your dad about everything?"

"No, of course not, but most things. I didn't tell him about you." She looked guilty. "Well, I know he knew there was someone else and when he said bye he said he'd better go since I had company. But he wasn't nasty about it. He seemed quite pleased actually."

"Sounds like a cool guy. What's your mom like? Oh wait, you don't have one, I remember now. You know, stuff Robert's said."

"Robert couldn't come to terms with my dad being gay."

Sean looked at her in surprise. "Is he? Wow, does that mean you have two dads?"

She laughed. "No, it's always just been the one… although he's had some lovers or boyfriends and there are one or two he still keeps in touch with and that I still know."

"What happened to your mother, then? I mean, do you not know her or anything?"

"I know who she is, but she's not even in the country. She's Australian. I know what she looked like back then, from a couple of photos. She was eighteen when I was born." Melle shrugged.

"Drink your coffee." He smiled at her.

"Do you want to stay here tonight?" she asked after finishing it.

Sean was very surprised. "Why? Do you think my parents will have kicked me out?"

"I don't want you to have to get shouted at any more today."

"If I only go back tomorrow, I'll get it even worse though." Melle stood up in a sudden, affronted movement and carried the plates and mugs to the kitchen. "I'll wash them in the morning." Sean was right behind her. She leaned back against him and closed her eyes. He slid his arms round her and the tips of his fingers into her jeans pockets. She felt the butterflies in her tummy go mad and couldn't help the little moan. He rubbed the tip of a thumb in circles over her jeans button. And nuzzled into her hair. "Can I ask you something?" he asked after clearing his throat softly. "How long have you been attracted to me?"

"Only since yesterday, I'm afraid," she said after a long time. She turned to face him. "Although I can't imagine what stopped me before. It's not as if I didn't think you were… gorgeous before, but I thought you were like the others. And young."

"What, the lot I hang around with? Robert's 'posse', as you so nicely put it. Why do you have a problem with those guys?"

She shrugged. "Bad vibes."

"I was never sending you any bad vibes, so it couldn't have been my fault."

"Well anyway, the point is I was never at my best when around you lot. So that prejudiced you as an individual. And like I said, I subconsciously thought of you as too young — I thought you were the usual student age."

"You don't normally go for younger guys? Although Robert's a year younger."

"A year difference is still pretty much my age. I think of guys who started university straight after school as too young and not interested in me anyway and even if they're interested I figure they're probably too immature and not interested in commitment."

"Oh really?" He looked a bit worried. "To be honest, I'm very nervous about all of this. Highly unprepared."

"What? You don't carry condoms around with you?" she joked.

"Well no, actually. I don't have any, but you… you wouldn't… you weren't…" She blinked up at him innocently. "In fact, I've never…" He bit his bottom lip.

"Oh!" she exclaimed. "Really?" She pondered. "And here I was thinking you were a player." She laughed. Sean frowned. "Sorry." Melle hugged him. "You're fantastic and I don't care what age you are. If anything I'm very flattered, although that's not what's attractive."

"When yesterday?"

"Oh, I can't believe I can answer this question. I suppose exchanging sentences with you helped — we never talked before, did we? — but when we were in the restaurant and you told the waitress you wanted your eggs 'over easy' you did this cute flip motion with your hand and you sounded entirely sexy."

Sean laughed. "You're insane. You know that? You didn't even let me finish my over easy eggs."

"Oh my God. Say that again. Repeat after me: over easy eggs."

"Over easy eggs. Hey, quit swooning!" He was grinning.

Melle laughed delightedly. "I suppose it started when we were trying to avoid bumping under that tiny table and I thought to myself, my God, I actually wouldn't mind."

"And then I went and fucked it up by asking you about that guy," he said sadly.

"Well, forget about it, although I really am sorry I didn't let you finish your meal."

"No you're not. I deserved it. You wouldn't have wanted to react any other way, would you? Gave those kitchen tea bitches something to talk about."

"Speaking of kitchens, I think it's time we left this one. Don't you?"

"You know, normal people would have been all over each other by now. In these circumstances."

"I wouldn't want to pressurise you," she teased.

"You wouldn't be." He was blushing. "But maybe we shouldn't rush things, considering we've only just broken up with our respective partners today."

"You're right." She kissed his lips, in almost the same way she had before, but this time he wouldn't let her go and she didn't want him to. So she kissed him again and he closed his eyes, tentatively kissing her back. Then he opened smiling eyes, aimed a tiny lick at her lower lip, pulled her tightly towards him and gently explored her lips and then mouth. She had one hand caressing the back of his neck and the other in his hair. He guided her towards the broom closet, and lifted her up against it, silently encouraging her to wrap her legs around him. He started kissing her neck and licking her throat with just the very tip of his tongue. And then he lifted his head and made a face at her. "I suppose you spray something on your neck?"

She was still trying to stop herself from thinking she was going to fall clumsily to the floor and was clutching at his hair and neck. She blinked at him, not understanding immediately, and he started laughing. She squealed. "You're going to drop me!"

"Not bloody likely!" he retorted. And then stroked her right cheek with his knuckles. "What's that face for? Are you uncomfortable?" He tried hoisting her up, but she just squealed again. "No kitchen sex, then?" He raised an eyebrow at her boldly and smirked. "Chicken."

Melle glared at him and tightened her thigh-hold. "By the way, I'm not a slut, I don't sleep with people I'm not even going out with."

"Not even with those you are," he teased, winking.

"Also true, in some cases," she said without skipping a beat.

"All right, hold tight," he said, lifting her up even higher and stepping back away from the broom cupboard towards the doorway. She quickly wrapped her arms around his neck and ducked as they went out and through the lounge. Her nervous breath tickled its way into his ear. "Oi, I need my legs to walk," he warned, going slightly weak at the knees.

He fell onto the bed with her, let her go and eyed her mischievously while lying on his side, propped up on an elbow. "Well… you'd never say you were a virgin," she eventually said, lying flat on her back recovering her breath.

"I'm not sure what you think just happened, but we've still got our pants on," he laughed. Melle rolled her eyes. And gasped when she felt his fingertips graze her belly. She sucked in her tummy. "So soft," he said, shifting down the bed and leaning over her, pushing her shirt up a little to uncover part of her body. Sean scanned her wide eyes since she had her head lifted to see what he was up to. Then he dipped his head and started kissing her smooth skin tenderly, every now and then testing her with the very tip of his tongue. He gently tugged at her waistband and licked into her navel, nibbling the edges.

"Oh God." Sean climbed between her quivering legs and when he looked at her face she wrapped them loosely around him. He lay on her gently, almost hovering, locking his fingers into hers at either side of her head. She tightened her legs around him and he gasped, eyes widening. When she pushed up against him he buried his face in her neck and she withdrew one of her hands from his grasp and held his head to her, fondling his hair and caressing his scalp. She turned her head and kissed his head, breathing him in. He became heavier on her and she kept stroking his hair. "You okay, Sean?" she whispered.

She felt his slight nod and the squeeze of his hand. Eventually he lifted his head and offered her a vulnerable look. He cleared his throat and said, "I'm scared."

Melle slowly brushed a finger over the newly grown stubble on his chin and then rested it on his lips. Sean kissed it and then kissed each of her fingers on that hand. He rolled off her and examined all her fingers before pulling her on top. She sat up on his thighs and smiled at him. "So am I. There's no need to do any more than either of us are ready to though, right?"

He took her wrists and pulled her down so that her face was close to his. "I'm more scared of losing you than anything else."

"And it dizzies me that we've got so intense so quickly," she said, kissing the corner of his mouth. "I could…"

"What?" he asked when it was clear she wasn't going to continue unprodded.

"Nothing," she said with loaded meaning, shimmying down him slightly and resting her head on his chest.

He held it there and her body to him with his other hand. "I could too, you know."

"I don't have any condoms and I'm not on the pill or anything," she said quietly.

Sean shifted slightly. "I could easily lie here, just like this, all night. Easily and happily."

"Anyway, there are lots of other things we could do," she said after humming agreement. He rubbed her back and kissed the top of her head. "You should let your parents know you're not coming home."

"I should." He pulled his phone out of his back pocket while still holding onto her. And switched it on. It went wild, vibrating and beeping madly. He ignored all the incoming messages and voicemail and called home. "Yes, Mom, it's me. Look, will you listen to me? I'm not coming home tonight — I don't want you to worry about me, I'm fine. I'm going now. We'll speak tomorrow, okay? Mom! I'm— What?"

Melle lifted her head and looked at him. He said a quick goodbye and met her eyes. "Er, apparently Robert managed to get a flight here and he's on his way to this flat right now."

"Since when do people manage to get flights at the spur of the moment in this country?" Melle asked, sitting up and hopping off him.

"Kulula? No, they don't fly here. Dunno." Sean shrugged and then leapt off the bed.

Melle started straightening the covers and fluffing up the pillows. "Oh God."

Sean watched her with concern. "You don't have to let him in… when he buzzes."

"What, and let him make a scene out there? He'll probably disturb all the other residents until someone lets him in. There's always someone who doesn't mind."

And then the buzz came and Melle looked at Sean. "You still don't have to let him in at the door. We can pretend we're not here," he tried.

"I'm sure!" He looked hurt by her sarcastic tone. "I'm sorry." She got to the door just as the buzz came again. "Hello? Hello Robert, can I help you?"

"Oh, you knew I was on the way. Will you let me in, please?" He sounded very calm.

"Why do you want to come in?"

"To talk to you. Look, will you just let me in, all right? I came all this way…"

She paused. "Okay."

As soon as she'd put down the phone, Sean asked her if she was mad. "You would have been able to get rid of him, you know. What do you want me to do now? Hide on the balcony or—"

"Actually, that's a brilliant idea. He thinks I can't get out there." They both looked at the balcony. It was dark and the curtains could be closed.

"Surely he knows I'm here."

"Your car's out of sight, but then again he'd know where to look for it. Maybe your parents didn't tell him. They probably would have though, wouldn't they?"

"Well, I don't know, I didn't get a chance to find out, but he probably knows it anyway. I am not hiding on the balcony, all right? I'm not hiding anywhere." While he was staring at Melle, Robert knocked on the door. "He probably even knows you have keys now anyway," Sean muttered angrily.

Robert was wearing his royal blue peaked cap as usual and he was frowning. "Is Sean here?" He tried to rush past Melle, but she grabbed him by the front of his relatively loose-fitting Lycra shirt.

"Hey!! This is my flat, right. You fucking well behave yourself." She pushed him against the passage wall and he blinked at her in surprise. Sean appeared at the end of the passage. He was about ten centimetres taller than Robert and didn't look like him. Melle had already decided that Sean resembled his mother's family. Robert narrowed his eyes at him. Melle still had her hand pressed against his chest and he was still against the wall. "You may as well leave right now, Robert, if you're going to be an arse."

"Why'd you tell her shit about me?" Sean asked. "Did you think you could get away with it?"

Robert didn't say anything to him, just looked at Melle and said, "I think we should talk alone, all right?"

"What for?" she asked, crossing her arms. "You lied to me. You tried to set me up, and then you lied to me. And I broke up with you."

"Well, I think you need to talk to me about the break-up thing first. Oh wait… I know. This thing between you two has been going on for ages, hasn't it? And when I asked Sean to see what was going on, 'cos I knew you were up to no good, he was laughing behind my back because he already knew and it was the perfect way anyway to turn you against me, telling you I'd asked him to do that."

"There was nothing going on between us and nothing going on between me and anyone but you!"

"Yeah, like there was much going on between us anyway," he growled. "I knew you would want to get it somewhere else if it wasn't with me!"

Sean interrupted. "She's telling the truth. Unlike some people. I can't believe you bad-mouthed me like that, your own cousin."

Robert laughed bitterly. "You're not even really my cousin." He smirked at their baffled faces. "Oops, that was meant to be a secret."

"What are you talking about?" Sean asked, not sure he wanted to know.

"Ask your mother." Sean frowned. "Your parents are more related to me than they are to you."

"Get out!!" Melle yelled, trying to shove him towards the door. "Right now!"

"Oi!" he shouted, grabbing her arm. "Don't push your luck with me! I'm the aggrieved one here."

Sean had come towards them. "Let her go."

"Or what?" asked Robert, gripping more tightly.

"Ouch!" Melle tried to pull away from him. He released her, stepped back and was out the door before Sean could do anything else.

"Cheers." He disappeared.

Sean almost went after Robert, but Melle stopped him. "Come here." She pushed the door closed and enclosed him in her arms.

"I've got to call home and ask what he was talking about."

"More pathetic lies no doubt," Melle reacted, even though she wasn't convinced.

Sean looked at her worriedly. "I'm not so sure. Sometimes people say things and then things falls into place, do you know what I mean?"

His anguished face disturbed her. "Why is he being so wretched? So cruel and vindictive??"

"Cos his plan boomeranged? But never mind that right now, I'm calling my parents." Melle nodded and went to close all the curtains. Sean watched her, too scared to phone.

"Would you rather go to them?"

"No. Definitely not."

"Okay, well, I'm here, come and sit on the couch with me." She held his hand, but couldn't help wondering whether she was becoming more and more tangled in a sticky web.

Sean bit his top lip while the phone rang. "Paula? Can I speak to Mom or Dad, please?"

"You're a complete bastard!" she yelled. "How can you be such a lousy, cheating, nasty bastard??"

"Listen, Paula, I'm sorry about Keira, but I'm not going to talk about that right now. Put me onto one of them."

Before he knew it his mother's voice was on the other side. "Sean? What’s going on? Have you seen Robert?"

"Yes, but he's gone now."

"To his flat? I told him he could stay here tonight."

Sean kept quiet for a moment. "I don't know and I don't really care. Mom, he said something strange to me, but he's been acting out of control, so I'm not sure how I'm supposed to take it."

She was quiet longer than he would have expected. "Well? What did he say?"

"He said that we're not really cousins."

"Oh my God."

"Well, do you know what he meant by that? You do, don't you?"

"Why don't you come home? You really should anyway — if you were planning on staying with… with…"

"Melle."

"I know her name!! For godsake, what's got into you?? Please come home, Sean."

"No. Tell me now." He felt Melle squeezing his hand.

He heard his mother start to sob and then his father was on the line. "Sean, what's going on? Why are you making your mother cry?"

"Is she my mother?"

"Sean. Let's go and talk to your parents over there, all right?" Melle was saying at the same time as his father was silent on the other end. He shook his head, barely noticeably.

"Sean, please, the phone is not the place to be talking about this," his father pleaded.

"About what?? Am I adopted?"

"Let us come over there to you," his father said gently. "Goodbye."

Sean's eyes opened wide. "It's so serious they're coming over here late at night!"

"Okay. Sean?" He had his head in his hands. "Sean, come here." She had stood up in front of him and now drew his head to her chest. She kissed the top of it. "Everything will be all right. They do love you, you know? I can tell."

He let her hold him there for a few seconds and then he lifted his head and looked at her. "You'd think they would have told me what it is by now, wouldn't you? I'm not ten years old. Actually ten would probably have been fine. And to think he knows and I don't. It makes me feel sick. Plus I am so embarrassed that you have to get involved in all this. It makes me feel even younger, my parents coming over here, for godsake! Or not my parents, as it were."

"Don't worry," was all she could come up with.

He pulled her onto his lap, her knees on either side of his thighs. "I'm certainly braver since yesterday, since properly knowing you. Although I know there's still lots more to know about you."

"Yeah, but I can only tell you when you're twenty-one and properly grown-up," she said in mock seriousness.

He glared at her. "Oh yeah, my parents were probably going to tell me about my adoption as a twenty-first present."

"I'd better get up and make a pot of tea or something, for when they get here."

"Melle! It's not a tea party. If anything, they should be given lukewarm water and breadcrumbs."

She hopped off him just as the buzzer went and headed straight off to open for them. "Yes, it's Melle. Please come in. You can check if the lift is working, but you might have to use the stairs. Yes. Oh, right. Bye."

"God, is my mother having conversations with you on the intercom? She treats them like telephones. Anyway."

Melle unlocked and opened the door and walked to the lift. No life in it as she had expected. She heard movement on the stairs and finally they were at the top. "Hi. I'm sorry about the stairs."

"Oh it's nothing, how old do we look to you?" Mr Keane asked, peering around for Sean. "Not ready for the Stairway to Heaven yet, that's for sure."

"Hello Melle." Lily looked decidedly sadder than she had earlier in the day, and almost fearful. "Carl, maybe you should save your Led Zeppelin references for people old enough to know their music." And when she frowned at her husband, Melle thought she looked like Sean. They followed her inside quietly and found Sean waiting in the lounge.

Melle fiddled around in the kitchen. She realised that she would have to unpack her teapot and some cups. So she got going, switching on the kettle and trying not to listen to what was happening inside, but even when the kettle started making a noise, she could still hear.

Sean was cross, but he didn't like how it was making his parents nervous and upset. "So what's the story, then? And why haven't you told me?"

"We didn't want to upset you." His mother.

"It's not a very nice story." His father.

"Oh, I see. But everyone else knows."

"Not everyone! Hardly anyone at all and Robert shouldn't know — in fact, he probably doesn't know much," said Lily defensively. "He must have overheard something — his parents know, you see. Your father and your uncle being twins and all that." She looked down at her hands, fingers tightly interwoven in the hope that this would stop them from trembling.

"You make it sound like a telepathy thing," Carl protested.

Sean frowned at them and shook his head slowly. "Why can't you just tell me whatever it is. I was adopted, right?"

Carl looked at Lily. "Yes," she said swiftly. "Legally adopted and all that. When you were a tiny baby." She walked up to him, for they were all still standing, and tried to take his hands in hers. But he stepped to the side and then backed into an armchair and sat down in a sudden weak-kneed movement. "Honey, it was a year after your father and I got married. And it wasn't because we couldn't have children. It wasn't anything like that. As you know, we had Paula later and then—"

"Yes I know, then you had my brothers. Well, assuming they aren't also adopted. Mom, I don't want you touching me right now, okay?" Lily jerked back the hand she had been about to use to squeeze his shoulder.

"Lil, let's sit on the couch here," Carl said, fingertips touching her nearest wrist reassuringly. She sighed deeply, but realised that this was probably the best thing to do.

"Melle?" Sean asked as if he'd suddenly remembered she was there. "What are you up to?"

"I'm just making some tea!" she called back.

He got up awkwardly and went to her. "Sorry about all of this, I'm sorry this is all happening in your flat. You shouldn't be—" She hugged him. "Making tea," he finished, wrapping his arms around her too. The embrace sucked some of the tension and anger out of his body. He dropped his head next to hers and breathed in the citrus fragrance of her hair.

"Come on. Help me take these inside."

A childish part felt like saying, "Traitor!" to her, but he decided that since she'd gone to all the trouble of unpacking boxes, he may as well do it.

"Er, he doesn't drink tea," Sean said about his father when they were setting things down on the table.

"I do today," Carl said and Lily raised an eyebrow at him a-la-Sean. And then the man took charge of pouring all the tea and asking how much sugar everyone took.

"I've warmed some milk." Melle spoke a little too late.

"Oh! Sorry, I thought we were having it black. Shows you, I don't normally have tea."

"Ever," muttered Lily. "Bet you'd never touched a teapot handle in your life."

Melle hurried into the kitchen to fetch the milk for herself, if no one else wanted it. Sean had already taken a couple of sips of tea, but after she added some milk to her cup he held his forward and she topped it up. "And I'll finish off the hot milk afterwards," he said.

"I'm sorry I don't have any biscuits or anything." They all acted as if offering them biscuits would have been a shameful thing to do.

"So, if Sean's adopted, how come he looks so much like you?" Melle asked before she could tell herself not to be so damn intrusive. "Lily," she added when neither of Sean's parents seemed to know whom she was speaking of.

"Does he?? He didn't used to!" she exclaimed. "Oh my God."

"What? I've always thought I took after you, in looks, but I'd forgotten I thought that. "

Sean's parents stared at him. And then Lily said, "Well, it would make some sense if you did. My sister, your aunt, gave birth to you. But she thought you looked just like the…" It seemed as if she was about to burst into tears, but sipped at her tea again instead.

"Pauline," Carl continued, "Is your biological mother. You've never met her, but you've heard of her. We haven't seen her since… well, of course, you have met her in one sense." He shook his head. "I can't believe this. I'd almost forgotten all this." Lily gave him a contemptuous look. "What? He's my son. That's all there is to it. What's the point of entertaining all these nasty stories?"

"It all really happened! That's the point. You know I've wanted to tell him for a long time. He might want to meet her. She might… I don't know, she's my sister and I would do anything to see her again."

"She's in the UK, isn't she? That's what I've heard." To Sean it sounded as if he was speaking through a tunnel.

"We don’t know. She was there once, but she could be anywhere. She married an Englishman, so I suppose that's where she is. But no one knows. Or if they know, they don't tell me," Lily said.

"She's older than you, isn't she? So why didn't she keep me?" Sean's head was still too full. He didn't know what he was saying until after he'd said things.

"She's a year older. She wasn't married."

"So what? Why didn't she want me? If she didn't want me, why didn't she just have an abortion?"

Lily jumped and Carl squeezed her hand before saying, "Sean, everyone is very grateful that she didn't opt for that. She didn't know who the father was."

"You mean, who my father was. So no one knows who he is? She must have had some idea."

"When you were born, she knew. She said she knew. She said she looked at you and knew." His mother's left eye twitched, like in the movies.

"So… did she have a boyfriend and she'd cheated on him and I wasn't his baby, so she didn't want me? Or he didn't?"

Melle frowned in concern. She'd been sitting in an armchair on her own, but now felt compelled to go over to Sean. He looked so vulnerable and as if he wouldn't be able to take another shock. She sat on one of the arms of his chair and slipped a steady arm around his shoulders, pressing her lips against his head. Perturbed by their closeness, Carl said, "She was assaulted. Raped." Until he'd spoken Lily had been looking down, fretting. "I'm sorry," he added upon seeing Sean's anguished expression and feeling his wife's shudder.

Melle had suspected as much. "Someone she knew. But someone who was never caught or charged?" Sean looked at her in surprise and she rested a hand on the back of his neck and caressed the hair in the nape of it with her thumb.

"No charges were pressed. She didn't tell anyone what happened until Sean was born. It was someone at a party. Someone she didn't even think she knew the real name of and someone who disappeared after the incident. Some of us tried to get her to go to the police even at that late stage, but she didn't want to. She just left the country," said Carl. "Left her boyfriend who wanted to marry her even when he discovered you weren't his son. He'd been trying to get her to marry him throughout the pregnancy, but it was as if she wanted to wait and see first."

"I did not, I just had to make sure it was the best thing. And it was."

"I should leave you all alone. I'll just be in my bedroom." Melle had got up and was backing towards her bedroom door.

Sean wasn't happy to be left alone with his parents, but he let her go. "So she despised me. And who can blame her?" he said, eyes down and blinking rapidly.

"I think you were just a reminder, that's all. And perhaps you were actually Ian's baby. Her boyfriend," Lily responded feebly. "But Pauline was adamant and Ian got the shock of his life. It's true you didn't resemble either of them, but you were a baby, and look, you apparently look a bit like me now."

"Well, I remember what Ian looked like and there's nothing of him in Sean even now," Carl said. "There's no point pretending. Pauline knew and that's all there is to it. And Sean, even if you have a lot of your biological father's looks, I'm sure you're nothing like him in any other way, so don't you go and feel ashamed of yourself now. There's no point, you're a good boy."

"Although I am very concerned about you stealing your cousin's girlfriend," Lily said, startling Sean.

"I can't help it that we like each other. We have both split up with them now."

"Only after it all started!" she retorted.

"I wouldn't say that! It was only yesterday we started talking and we didn't get up to anything!"

"Yesterday? You look far too cosy for that!"

"Well, you can believe what you like. It's true." He stood up. "You don't have to stay any longer. If there's any more to this saga, we can talk about it some other time."

"I think you should come home with us," Carl said firmly. "If you and Melle are only starting to get to know each other, sleeping over is very bad manners, I would think. And it's disrespectful to your cousin. You can at least show him some kindness."

"I've had enough of showing him kindness, all right? I've done enough of that. And anyway, staying at someone's place doesn't mean you're automatically going to have sex."

His mother frowned. "Sean, I think we've brought you up better than this. What kind of example are you setting for your sister and your brothers?"

"Paula's the oldest now, she can set the examples."

"Oh God, please don't be like this. I know you need some time to get used to all of this, but please don't think that you're not our son. You are. And we love you." His mother forced a hug on him and although he didn't return it, he let her crunch his ribs.

"Melle?" Sean said after he broke free. "My parents are leaving."

She tugged her door open and came out. "Why don't you go with them?" she suggested. Sean looked confused. "I'm sorry. I heard what they said, and it's true, we just broke up with our partners, we should have some breathing space. And Lily, I probably shouldn't come and work in your shop. I really don't want to cause conflict in your family." She sounded as if she had rehearsed her speech. "And I suppose you will have to tell the rest of your kids about the situation, so, Sean, you should be there."

Sean bit the inside of his bottom lip and frowned. "Right. Fine," he said eventually. "Whatever you want."

"Yes, it's what I want," she said lamely.

Lily was staring at her. "Where do your parents live?" she asked when her husband cleared his throat.

"My dad lives in Winterberg." She gave Sean a desperate glance and then looked down at the floor. Sean was suddenly in front of her and pulling her into his arms, holding her.

"Oh God," muttered Carl. He gathered up the teacups and hurried to the kitchen. Lily grabbed the rest and followed him. "He's obviously mad about her," he whispered.

"It can't last. It's too intense. Anyway, let's just leave them to it. He's twenty. There's no chance he's going to cuddle up with us in bed tonight after all the news he's just had. But maybe he should cuddle up with someone. I can't believe I just said that. Let's go, I am drained."

Carl sighed. "Okay. Um, by the way, why did you ask where her parents were?"

"I just thought she needed someone. Hmm, why does it look like she's been living out of boxes?"

He shrugged and led the way back to the lounge. "Right, we're going. How do we get out at that big gate?"

Melle extricated her body from Sean's grip. "Oh, um you can punch in the code at the pedestrian gate next to the big one I opened for you. Ten, seventy-three. Otherwise I can watch and open it when you get down there."

"My memory's still pretty good. I think the code will work," said Carl, looking terribly like Robert. She supposed Robert would look like that in twenty years' time, if he looked after himself.

"I would really appreciate your help in the shop," Lily said, just as they were walking out.

Sean hugged them both goodbye. "Don't worry about me. Melle will look after me."

"That's exactly what I'm worried about," Carl told Lily when they were out of earshot.

Sean heaved a sigh of relief when they were inside, alone, behind closed doors. "When you said I should go home, I thought you didn't want me any more, because of my evil biological father."

"I hope I've never been that shallow."

"Isn't it possible things like that can be inherited?"

"Do you feel as if you have inherited violent or evil tendencies? He was probably just a thoughtless, drunk bastard. Not necessarily evil. Not that there's any excuse. At least your mother had a reasonable reason for giving you up."

"I didn't know that it bothered you so much. Your mother. I'm sorry I wasn't more sympathetic when you told me. I can understand now. Your mother didn't hand you over because your father was gay, did she?"

Melle stiffened. "No. She couldn't have. She didn't know. As far as I know she didn't know. And besides if she had a problem with him being gay, surely she wouldn't have wanted him to have me. As far as I know she was quite relieved to be able to have a handy father to give me to."

Sean held and squeezed her. She rubbed his back and then slid her hands up it under his T-shirt. Her fingers tingled on his back and she found his mouth on hers. His fingers were in the back pockets of her jeans, pulling her close. And then he moved one of his hands up under her T-shirt, caressing her back, especially the small of it. She pressed against him and he slipped the fingers of his other hand up her front, rubbing a knuckle over her bellybutton and up to the bottom of her bra. She was breathing faster and pressing herself up against him hard. "Mmm," he moaned, moving his fingers back down to her navel and testing her jeans button. With his other hand he found the clasp of her bra. He undid them simultaneously.

Melle gasped and looked at him. "You're suspiciously smooth."

He was embarrassed. "Really, I'm not. I just… really, really want you and I want to do things right."

"Yes, well, I suppose most people would have taken my T-shirt off first." She smiled.

"Oh right, straps. Yeah, I can see how what I did won't make it just drop off."

"Not to worry, I can still get it off without taking my shirt off." She did some stuff and then pulled the bra out of her sleeve and handed it to him. He was blushing and feeling the warmth of it. He took her hand and pulled her into the bedroom, tugging his T-shirt over his head. "What if I wanted to take it off?" she asked, staring at his chest.

"Oh sorry. Should I put it back on?" She yanked it out of his hand and threw it to the floor. He looked at it lying there and sighed unexpectedly.

"What?"

"You have a shirt of Robert's in your laundry basket."

"You've been scratching in my laundry?"

"I just lifted the lid yesterday and there it was. I don't know why I did it."

"I just borrowed it from him. It's not there because he wore it here, it was me who had it here, and wore it. No, I don't think that helps."

"No."

"How do you think I feel about your young girlfriend?"

"Ex. There's nothing to feel, there's no comparison."

"One day you'll tell someone that about me."

"Or I won't. Come here." When he kissed her lips she tentatively ran her fingers over his tummy and up his breastbone. Then kissed his left nipple while sliding her fingers into his armpits.

"Oh no nonono, very, very ticklish." He had clamped his arms to his sides.

"Okay," she laughed. "How cute that I can see your underpants sticking out of the top of your jeans."

He glanced down at himself and then unzipped her pants in one fast movement. "How cute that I can see…" He went on his knees in front of her. "Your… um…" He held her waist with one hand and softly ran the thumb of the other down from her navel to where her open fly ended. "Interesting Simpsons underwear, Melle." He pulled the waistband of her underwear down slightly and kissed her there. And then he looked up at her and said, "Oh my God." He stood and scratched his head. "Man, I can't do this."

"Do what?" she asked breathlessly, feeling very quivery after all that.

He held her in the small of her back. "I can't, I don't know, I can't continue like this. You have no idea how much I want to make love to you right now."

"You haven't even seen me with my clothes off," she laughed light-headedly.

"I don't care."

"Okay. Well, I'm sure you've felt that way before?"

"No. Definitely not."

"Okay, we'll slow down. Maybe we should get some sleep."

He looked at her as if she was mad. "Now?"

"It's around midnight."

"How about going out? There's a thing at The Blue tonight, isn't there?"

"Dancing? All right."

"Not if you're going to be sounding that enthusiastic."

She sat down on a corner of the bed. "There's something I should tell you."

He went over and sat at her feet, facing her. "What? How many people you've slept with?" He tried to sound as if it didn't matter, but he wasn't sure he could listen to her history right then. He held one of her ankles.

"Something like that," she said, looking sulky. "Well, here's the thing. I've never actually done it before. I'm sorry, I know I led you to believe that I have, but I do that with everyone."

He looked up at her and found himself scratching his head again, so he placed his hand on her knee instead and squeezed it. "Erm. I'm not sure it's something you should be so ashamed of."

"Right. Yeah, I know. I could just say I don't believe in sex before marriage, but that would be a complete and total lie. It's really that I am terrified of falling pregnant. I never want to give up a baby to someone else or have an abortion, yet I know I'm never at that place where I want one. A baby. I don't want a baby." At that she zipped up and re-buttoned her jeans. "And I keep forgetting when I'm with you."

"Right. Well that's what contraception is for. If you take the pill and use condoms, it's safe enough, isn't it?"

"Probably. But 'probably' isn't enough for me." For a long pensive moment they were both silent.

"Well, all you have to do," he said eventually, "Is not have sex until you want to get pregnant."

She laughed bitterly. "That's what I'm afraid of. Who knows when that will be, if ever."

"So does Robert know about this?"

"No, no one does. Even my dad thinks I'm an unvirgin."

Sean smiled out of one side of his mouth. And then he stood up. He offered his hands to her. "Come on, let's get some sleep."

She allowed him to pull her up and hug her. "I see I've put out your fire," she mumbled into his chest, their lower bodies touching.

He laughed, not sure if laughing was a good idea. "Behave. So do I get to sleep in your bed or do I get the couch?"

She considered this carefully. "I'm not sure. I want you in the bed, but that's the problem."

"Not with your fear of sex it's not."

"Yes it is. I told you, sometimes when I'm with you, I forget about that and I've never forgotten it before."

"Right, okay, couch," he said after trying very hard not to show how pleased he was at what she'd just said. He wasn't sure if he was happy to sleep on the couch or not.

"Still, you've got a mind of your own, so it's not like we're just going to have sex and then go 'oops' afterwards, is it? You'll say, hang on, Melle, you don't want this, remember?"

"Will I?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at her. "What happens if I say that and you say, yes, I do?"

"Then, since we'll be talking about it, we'll both remember we don't have protection anyway, and so we won't."

"Ah. True."

"Are you still interested in me?"

"Yes. Of course." He kissed her lips and pulled her close. "I'm burning up over you."

"Ha ha, yes, I hope we won't keep using these fire analogies. Hot as you are, my friend."

Sean laughed. "By any chance got the Will Young Light my Fire single here?"

"Unfortunately not. Will's lovely, don't rip him off."

"Oh, agreed."

"Sorry, I'm used to Robert's mocking comments."

"So Robert thinks the only reason you didn't have sex with him was because he wouldn't go for his HIV test?" He couldn't help it.

"I suppose he does. Well, he might think otherwise now. I suppose he thinks, now, that I wasn't interested enough in him. But anyway, I was dishonest with him and I couldn't take it any more. So that's one reason I was going to split up with him, to spare him further anguish."

"Does that mean you did want to um… never mind, never mind, I can't go through with this conversation right now. I would ask you if you had a spare toothbrush, but I suppose if you have one, it's Robert's."

"Oh for godsake. Just use mine. It's the blue one."

He kissed her, holding her neck in his hands. As the kiss continued, he felt her fingers travelling down his stomach and onto the front of his jeans. She was breathing faster and caressing him. Suddenly he broke the kiss. And blinked at her. "You'll have to call the fire brigade soon if you're not careful."

"Maybe you should take it out so that it can cool down."

"Right, I'm off to the bathroom." And he went.

She shook her head in amazement and then searched for some pyjamas. Her best ones were in the wash. And the others were mostly tatty. So she changed into a loose white T-shirt and silky boxer-type pyjama bottoms. And went to queue at the bathroom. Sean was just finishing, rinsing his mouth. She kissed his back as he dried his face on a towel.

He turned to look at her and smiled. "Okay, I'll be in the bed when you're done."

She closed the door when he left and stripped back down to have a shower. When she returned to her bedroom, Sean appeared to be asleep on his front, head to the side. Right in the middle of the bed. She switched off the light and climbed in on the side his head was facing. She rested her head on his back, slipped an arm around him and snuggled up to his side. He'd taken off his jeans, but kept his underwear on. She reached a foot down to find one of his feet. Good, he hadn't left his socks on. She kissed his spine and then shifted up a bit and kissed his neck and then his ear, breathing into it. He moaned, or groaned perhaps. So she kissed his lips. His eyes opened wide suddenly. "Was I sleeping? Can't believe it. Well, I can, but not in this situation." He put an arm around her and pulled her towards him while turning onto his side. "Your hair's a bit wet."

"It happens when you don't use a shower cap and you have shoulder-length hair."

"Yeah, anyway, I'm not complaining. I'm sorry, I should have had a shower too."

"No, not at all. I just felt like one." She kissed his shoulder. "You're gorgeous."

He lay his hand on her waist and then felt her shimmery shorts, sliding his hand down her bottom and stopping on her thigh where the shorts ended. Her breathing had quickened. He caressed her thigh with one finger, stopped and then squeezed it. She gasped, pressing against him. Suddenly he pushed her onto her back and started climbing under her shirt. Well, he burrowed his head under it anyway, and kissed her tummy and her breasts, lingering over them and then licking gently at them. Melle wrapped her legs around him and felt his hardness against her groin. Sean pulled his head out and pushed up her shirt. She let him tug it over her head.

He reached towards the pedestal and turned on the lamp. Melle blinked at him in surprise. "I want to see you," he mumbled. He kissed her mouth, his groin pressed against hers, and then he shimmied down, kissing her throat, shoulders, breasts, eyes wide open, and then further down, past her navel, pushing her shorts down effortlessly until they were around her knees. He kissed her thick hair and licked at it, until his tongue slipped further down over a bump, up and over it again and again and then got swallowed up into her. He held her by her thighs and later had them on his shoulders as she tremored and quivered over and over again. Then he lay her down gently and kissed down her legs and massaged her feet and kissed each and every toe. Then he lay on her, burying his head in her neck. They were both breathing heavily. She said something. "What?" he mumbled.

She was pushing at the waistband of his underwear. "Take them off."

"What? No."

"Yes."

"And then?"

"And then I want you."

"No condom," he reminded her since she was clearly out of her mind.

She pushed him off her body and slipped down to rip his underwear off. She kissed him and he gasped. She caressed his soft bits and kept kissing up and down his erection and then pressed him with her tongue. She had his head in her mouth and then she let it go and climbed up his body, her groin above his. "Sean, I want you inside me."

"You don't want a baby," he replied feebly, feeling his dick rise up and bump against her.

"Maybe I do."

"What if I don't?" She'd driven him wild and he was struggling to think straight.

"You don't have to be responsible."

He started laughing all of a sudden, dangerously close to bumping himself into her by mistake. "You're crazy. Will you marry me then?"

"Yes."

"Oh my God. Careful." He moaned, his head shooting up off the pillow, almost crashing into hers, and then gasped, "Melle. Melle." She covered his mouth with hers and kissed him and sent him into blissful oblivion, rocking and bobbing on top of him for a good long while. At some point he had his hands on her breasts and his eyes tightly shut. And then he was on top of her and feeling his way around inside her. "Oh God. Melle. This is amazing. I love you. I mean it, I love you."

"I love you too." She squeezed him and he gasped and then whimpered when she did it even harder. She started giggling, amazed and amused at what she could do to him.

"Are you trying to flip your eggs over easy or something?" he asked after initially being startled by her light-hearted and slightly mad behaviour. She swooned mid-giggle and then began hiccuping. "Oi, what are you doing to my dick? Try holding your breath because every time you hiccup you clamp down on me and I am not sure I can handle, you know, coming while your diaphragm is in spasm."

"Diaphragm hahahaha, hic! Nothing like a hiccup to get your dick up! Hic!" She was hysterical. Sean couldn't help himself any more. He couldn't believe his stomach was hurting with laughter while he was having sex with Melle for the first time ever. Melle whom he'd proposed to for that matter. Strangely enough that thought made him laugh even harder.

When they eventually calmed down, they fell asleep wordlessly, folded into each other.

Sean woke up first, the sun streaming into his face. He was used to returning to full consciousness in a dark room. He had blinds on his windows and Melle's curtains were clearly not even lined. He rubbed his eyes and looked over at Melle who was facing away from him. He wanted to snuggle up behind her, but had this sudden vision of her staring at him in horror and saying, who the hell are you?? He realised that he was being dramatic, but something still stopped him. He remembered that he was supposed to have stopped them from having sex if it got to that critical point. And he hadn't. She was terrified of falling pregnant and he had still gone ahead and, wow, had sex with her. He swallowed, reminiscing. And then it hit him that he was meant to marry her now. "Oh shit!" He sat straight up. He looked around for his underwear and couldn't find it without disturbing Melle. So he got up and pulled his jeans on. He headed straight for the bathroom. He turned on the shower before having a pee. It wasn't a one hundred percent cold shower, but it was cool and it was a while before he actually started soaping himself.

He heard a knocking sound and then Melle's voice. "Can I come in? I really, really need to pee." She didn't wait for an answer and made a mad dash for the loo. He was behind the shower curtain, having just patted some shampoo onto his hair, and was frozen, unable to say anything. "You all right, Sean?" she asked a little croakily. "Is there anything you need in there? I'll fetch you a towel."

"Er. Yeah, a towel would be a good idea." He managed to start washing his hair. "Sleep well?"

"I must have." She was at the basin washing her hands. "And you?"

"Yeah, good sleep. I won't be in here much longer." He didn't know why he'd said that.

"I'll bring the towel and then make us some coffee."

When he left the bathroom, towel wrapped around his waist, she was sitting on the sofa sipping at her coffee. He'd been planning to hurry right past her and get dressed. After all, he needed to go home and get into fresh clothes and then attend lectures and tutorials. But she looked so curled up and vulnerable that his heart did a pancake flip. He sat next to her and nervously kissed her on the cheek. She still hadn't actually looked at him. He realised that her eyes were blinking rapidly and her hand was trembling, so he took the coffee from her and, after a momentary hesitation, put it on the floor. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her temple. She was sniffling a little now. "Oh Holy Mother of God, what have we done?" she wailed suddenly. And then her hand was over her mouth.

Sean was startled. "Shit," he muttered. He hadn't even considered that she might bring 'God' into the equation. Did she even believe in God? Did he? Never mind God having a mother!

"My whole body hurts," she told him after a minute or so of shivering or perhaps shuddering in his arms.

"Sorry," he said, guiltily. "I feel a bit stretched myself. I am sure you'll be fine in a day or two." This was probably the lamest thing he'd ever said, but it was all he could manage.

"I should probably go and shower." She finally looked at his face. "Sean?"

"Yes." He smoothed down her wild hair.

"Don't worry, I'm going to wash it now." She suddenly smiled shyly at him. "I can't believe this, despite the black terror in my heart, I'm burning for you again. Aren't you super-hot? You're a total babe. Look at you in my towel."

Sean stared at her in amazement and started laughing softly. "You've lost your mind, that's all." He lifted a finger to below her chin and kissed her. Despite their overnight mouths, they enjoyed a pretty good kiss.

He stood up and pulled her to her shaky legs and then watched her wobble off to the bathroom. She turned to look at him. "You'd better get yourself to classes. You don't want to become a drop-out like me, do you?" She smiled.

"I do have to go, but are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes. I might even see you on campus later. I should go in to tell them I'm stopping."

"What did your dad say about that? You told him, didn't you?"

"Not really. I told him I wasn't happy, but I think he thinks I will finish this year."

"Why don't you, Melle? It doesn't mean you have to go on next year, but at least you'll have the credits and you won't feel like you completely wasted the year." He followed her into the bathroom because she clearly didn't want to consider it and was running away from the conversation.

"It's so unbearably dull. And I don't even really have friends any more. Everyone else just seems so keen on what they're studying. Even the ones who hardly do any work at all. And besides, I'm supposed to help your mother in the shop." She turned on the hot water and then the cold.

"She's only expecting you part-time. It's not as if she knew you were stopping your studies."

"Oh, I thought you told her that's why I needed the job."

"No, she probably thinks of it more as an internship for you since you're studying English Literature," he admitted.

"Oh my God. Does that mean she'll be disappointed now? She'll think I'm truly bad news with my quitting and won't want me to work there." She stripped out of her pyjamas and got into the shower, pulling the curtain closed on him.

"Melle, please don't be sad." He touched the shower curtain, but she didn't respond in any way. "I love you."

She dropped the body wash and then yanked the curtain partially open and pulled him into the shower with her, towel and all. "Just hold me."

"The towel…"

"It's fine." She clung to him, the shower raining down on the back of her neck.

Sean held her and kissed the top of her head. "Want me to wash you?" he asked after a couple of minutes. He felt her nod. So he soaped her all over and even massaged shampoo into her hair and washed it for her and then he rinsed off the soap that was still left on her body at the end. And then he hopped out, looking around for her towel. "Out you come." She looked sleepy, despite the shower. He wrapped the towel around her, picked her up even as she objected, and carried her to the bedroom. "Got another towel for me?" he asked, dropping his wet one to the floor. She pointed to a nearby cupboard. He grabbed one and towelled himself off, and then located all his clothes. She was lying on the bed in her towel. "I'll come back here as soon as I can, all right?"

"Okay, I'm just going to sleep some more."

"I'm gonna warm up my coffee in the microwave, drink it and then leave. But first let me help you get dry and into your pyjamas again. I wouldn't mind getting some more sleep myself."

"Oh crap. Do you think your mother expects me there today? I'll go later, all right?"

"Well, I'll see her now. So I'll tell her you'll be around there sometime."

"No, give her a time. Say eleven or something." She was drying herself.

Sean went to collect her pyjamas in the bathroom, but she was pulling on some others when he returned. So he grabbed his coffee and heated it up. Then it was too hot, so he tipped some of it out and added milk. "Melle, you don't have to go and work today, you know."

"Sooner I start, the better."

"Okay, don't forget to tell your landlord you're staying then. That is, if you're going to."

She peeked at him from under the covers. "Yeah, of course I am," she said eventually, and closed her eyes.

Sean knelt next to Melle, stroked her very wet hair and kissed her head. "Sleep well."

Luckily Sean remembered the code to get out. His mother wasn't in the house when he got there since she was already in the shop. His father would definitely be gone. Paula was just about to leave for school. She ignored him completely. But he didn't give her much of a chance to say anything to him anyway. He took the stairs two at a time.

"Guess who's home." His brother, Mack, at the top of the stairs, already looking scruffy in his school uniform.

"Shouldn't you be at school?"

"On my way. Shouldn't you be at lectures?" He narrowed his eyes at Sean. "Can't believe you were with Robert's chick. He is so going to kill you." He followed Sean into his bedroom.

"I'm in a hurry here, bugger off, I want to get changed."

Mack laughed. "Rock on, Sean. Glad you dumped that irritation, Keira. Maybe she won't be around the house so much anymore now. Pity I still have to see her at school!" He was fifteen and two years below Paula and Keira. He couldn't handle either of them. "Anyway, I'd better go."

"Yeah, have a great day," Sean said, a little surprised at the support.

He changed quickly and then remembered he had to give his mother a message. He considered leaving a note, but then realised that she probably wouldn't come back into the house until lunchtime. He sighed and went off to face her. The shop was an extension of the house, a separate entrance really. Lily was on the phone taking down details from someone wanting to order a book that was not in stock. So Sean went back outside to dump his bag in his car. When he returned, there were a couple of other people in the just-opened shop, apparently browsing at eight in the morning. "Hi. How's it going, Mom?" He stepped up to the counter.

"Good morning, Sean." She was as unsettled about making eye contact with him as he had been to approach her. "I'm fine, thanks. Just busy. Oh, there goes the phone again." She picked it up. "This is Booked. Yes, I think we do. Could you hold one minute for me, please?" She set the phone down onto the counter, pressing the 'hold' button.

"Do you want Melle to work for you today? She can come at eleven."

She looked embarrassed. "Well, I don't know, maybe it's not that busy."

"Come on, Mom, don't change your mind now."

"I've got to make sure we have this book," she said, hurriedly leaving the counter and heading for the travel section.

"Look, let her come round and see how it goes. I have to get to a lecture now, I'm already late." He didn't wait for a response, just left. As he was walking towards his car he remembered that he still had to brush his teeth, so he went back inside and realised he had forgotten his cellphone at Melle's. And then when he was done with his teeth it struck him that he usually picked up Gill on Tuesdays on the way to his first class. "Oh hell." He had her number only on his cell, so he just drove to her house to see if she was still there.

"Oversleep, Sean?" she asked, hopping into the car. "I tried calling you, but just got your voicemail. You should give me your home number too."

"Will do. And you'd better give me yours if you have one. Sorry I'm late, we'll have missed most of the lecture by the time we get there."

She dug a piece of paper out of her bag. "Almost a relief, really. I hate that lecturer — he can't keep me interested at all." She scribbled down her number and asked for his. Then ripped the note in two and kept half. He motioned for her to put his bit into the little compartment below the radio. "Your girlfriend must be studying hard for her matric now. Glad I don't ever have to go through that again." Gill looked out for a parking bay as they got onto campus.

"Yes. Well, she's not my girlfriend any more. We split up." Sean realised that his whole life had changed in one day. "Is that a space there? No, bike."

"Is that why you were late?"

"I wouldn't say so, no." He stopped perpendicular to a car that looked as if it was about to be reversed out of a bay, but the driver was taking too long to get going, so Sean rolled his eyes, sighed heavily and moved on. Then he braked suddenly. "You'd better get out meanwhile."

Gill shrugged. "All right. Well, thanks, and have a great day, but then I'll probably see you at the English tut, right?"

"Yeah, cheers." By the time he found a parking space he'd missed the entire first lecture, so he headed to the next one, which was pretty far from where he'd left the car. He noticed someone waving to him when he entered the big lecture hall. It was Trey, arguably Robert's best friend. Sean headed towards him, sighing. He plonked himself down next to Trey. "You don't normally come to these."

"Well, it's almost exam time. So I thought, yeah, whatever. You all right?" He couldn't have chatted to Robert yet, Sean decided.

"Yeah, fine. How was your practice last night?" Trey played rugby and no one asked him anymore why he had a bruise or a graze. Or why his nose looked skew. No, it hadn't actually got quite that bad. Yet.

"Went well. Who's the lecturer for this course at the moment?" He was looking around. The hall was pretty full, and the class should have started by then.

"There she is. Dr Du Toit." And sure enough she was hurrying inside and fiddling with the overhead projector. "So you haven't seen that Robert's back?"

"Is he?? What for?"

"To nail my ass," Sean said, flipping through his exam pad to get to the next blank page.

Trey made a face. "Can't believe he hasn't let me know. What did you do to him?"

"Stole his girlfriend, apparently," Sean muttered.

That was when the lecturer decided to start talking and a hush fell over the class. Apart from Trey who said, "What?" loudly.

"I said, I've never before seen this class looking so full," the Psychology Two lecturer told him. "And I've certainly never seen your face before, Mr…"

Trey had the decency to blush. "Davids."

"Mr Davids. If this was school, I would ask you what you had to share with everyone." Of course the whole class giggled as if they really were still at school. Trey shook his head and luckily Dr Du Toit got on with things and everyone had to pull themselves together very quickly.

For the rest of the class, Sean and Trey may have been total strangers to each other. As soon as it ended, Sean stood up quickly. "I've got a tut now. I'll see you around."

"So what's the story with Melle?"

"She's split up with him."

"Can't handle her anyway, waste of time. So what's the story with you and her, then?"

"Don't worry, she doesn't like you either."

"Oh shit, you're really having a thing with her!" Sean had already started walking and Trey was hurrying to keep up with him. "Come on, man, what's going on?"

"Go and ask Robert, he'll tell you his own story. Pointless me telling you since you'll only believe him." Sean had stopped to face him once they got outside.

After a few moments Trey said, "But you are seeing her."

"Yes," Sean said firmly. "But only since she broke up with him yesterday. Nothing's been going on in secret, but I know no one believes that."

"Fock it. Who else knows?"

"Ah, just my family."

"Yeah, I suppose they would, you two being cousins and all. What is Melle trying to do — keep it in your family?" Trey thought he was being funny.

"She didn't even know we were cousins at first." Not that we're technically cousins, he thought, feeling a little light-headed all of a sudden. "What do you have against her anyway?"

Trey shrugged. "Nothing! Listen, I'd better go. And don't you have a tut?" He looked desperate to get away.

"Why don't you like her?"

"Ah, leave it, Sean!" And off he went.

Sean struggled to participate in his Philosophy tutorial. And was very relieved when it was over. Gill grabbed the seat next to his at the English one. "Everything all right, Sean? I managed to get some notes for the lecture earlier. I caught the end of it and got one of my friends to lend me hers. Made a copy for you." She handed it to him.

"Oh wow, thanks," he said, smiling at her. "I'm going home after this, you need a lift?"

"Sounds good."

This tutorial was even worse than the previous one and he couldn't come up with any coherent answers. Gill kept helping him out, which actually made it worse. "Sorry," he told the tutor eventually. "I'm having an off day."

"Broke up with his girlfriend," Gill explained to the small group of eight.

They made noises of understanding, but the tutor rolled his eyes and said, "Keep it out of the tut. If we all had to come here and make excuses every time, we'd never get anything done." Sean knew the guy disliked him, but that was pretty nasty. And everyone else thought so too. A horrified and grumpy silence ensued. Sean was annoyed at Gill though — that hadn't been necessary at all. He suddenly realised that he was the only guy in the room, apart from Mr Asshole. Usually there were one or two other guys there.

The girls surrounded him protectively when they eventually left the room. "Let me know if you want to talk about it," Tara said. "That guy is such a prick. It's only because he's jealous of you!"

"Why would he be?"

"Well, you're better-looking, for one," said Heidi, outspoken as always, and the others laughed nervously. "He knows the rest of us pay more attention to you than to him. What I mean is, you're easier to listen to and you talk a lot of sense whereas he has this attitude of thinking he knows so much, and he has such an irritating voice. Anyway I've got to go, I have some prep to do for a practical." She left, and then the rest of them disappeared too, after murmuring support. Only Gill stayed behind.

They walked back to his car, Gill talking all the time. "Yeah, listen, I'm really not that heart-broken. Thanks and all that, but honestly, I don't need a shoulder to cry on about it." He unlocked the passenger side door for her and then hurried in, reversing out of the parking bay.

"Oh right, so you're the one who broke it off then?" He didn't reply and she switched on the radio.

Sean glanced at his watch. It was nearly twelve-fifteen and if Melle had made it to the shop on time she would have been there for over an hour already. He found himself feeling excited about seeing her. But he was worried about her and about what would happen if she were pregnant. He also didn't know what to do about that whole marriage proposal thing. He doubted from her reaction earlier that she had taken it seriously, if she even remembered it, but you never knew. Anyway, he didn't feel right about pretending it had never happened because if he was really honest with himself he'd sort of meant it at the time. If he forgot that he was still only twenty and that his parents would go ballistic and that he hardly knew her, he really had meant it.

"Sean. You've missed my road."

"Sorry." He turned down the next street and got to her house in what appeared to be a very complicated way. "So Thursday, yes?"

"Thanks, yeah. But I'll probably see you in class tomorrow. Ciao." She waved him off.

Sean didn't even go up to his room first — he made a beeline for the shop. Melle was at the counter ringing up a book for someone or stressing out over trying to ring it up anyway. His mother was nowhere to be seen. He was standing beside Melle before she realised who he was. She'd been in the middle of telling him he wasn't allowed behind the counter. "Hey. Need some help? That computer can be a bit fiddly sometimes." He came to her rescue efficiently and the customer, an old man who hadn't even noticed that Melle had taken a while to get the book rung up, left slowly. Sean drew Melle to him and kissed her mouth quickly but gently. "You all right?"

She was looking flustered, her wild-style hair complementing her erratically blinking eyes. "She just showed me once and then buggered off. Honestly, I've never rung up things before. At tills. Or computers. It's like she couldn't wait to get away from me." She was whispering rapidly because there were a few browsers in the shop. "I've brought your phone." She whipped it out from under the counter and handed it to him.

"Don't worry, I'll help." He'd slipped it into his pocket without checking if he'd missed anything. "Okay, next person who buys, just watch how I do it." He smoothed down her hair.

A guy came in and walked straight up to the counter. "Excuse me, could you show me where the erotica section is?" He grinned wickedly.

"Bugger off!" Sean told him immediately, startling Melle.

"You can't talk to me like that! I'm a customer!" The other people in the shop were peering at them.

"Melle, this is my brother," Sean said loudly enough for everyone to hear. "That means his mother owns the shop," he added, in case anyone was still wondering. "He wants to be an actor one day." A couple of the customers laughed, one of them quite hysterically.

"So, this is the world-famous Melle. Fantastic!" He wasn't too concerned about lowering his voice. "Keira's been blackening your names all over school."

"Why aren't you at school anyway?" Sean asked, giving him a threatening look.

"We're privileged now. Get to leave early some days. Luckily our sister is at her best buddy's today, boycotting you and the parents, so I didn't have to travel home with her."

"He's in matric too even though he's about a year younger than Paula," Sean explained to a silent Melle.

"And I do have a name, but I suppose you already know it." Melle shook her head slowly. "Oh, he hasn't even told you. Andy." He narrowed curious eyes at her. "Why are you so quiet?"

"Bowled over by your indelible charisma, no doubt," muttered Sean.

"Good to meet you, Andy," she finally managed. "You've got more than one brother, right?" She looked at Sean who was feeling very jealous right then. Everyone always stared at Andy. Everyone thought he was fantastic. Or that's how it felt.

"There's Mack who's a year younger than me. That makes him fifteen and me sixteen. Paula's seventeen. Thankfully our parents finally put their brains back in after Mack and stopped procreating. Somehow I skipped one year at school somewhere around the age of nine. Too smart for my own good, apparently. It also means both Paula and Mack resent me." Andy turned around and took a couple of romance novels from a smiling forty-something woman who'd come up to the counter.

He handed the books to Sean who rang them up after reminding Melle to watch. "Thanks. Enjoy them."

"Oh, they're a gift," she said, taking the bag from Sean. "But thanks. Please give my regards to your mother."

"En-ee-wayz," said Andy, once she'd left the shop. "I'll be seeing you later. I hear we have a family meeting, oooooh, after dinner. I don't know what a family meeting is, but Mum threw the phrase in my face when I got home so that I wouldn't make any plans for tonight."

"Oh, I haven't heard anything about that." Just after Sean spoke, their mother came into the shop through the back office.

"This doesn't look good, you all blocking off the counter like this. No one will want to buy anything," she said grumpily.

Andy rolled his eyes and didn't budge. "All sorted with rounding up the gang for the meeting tonight, Mum?"

"Sean, do you mind us having a talk tonight with… everyone?" Lily asked after making sure none of the customers were waiting to be helped or within earshot.

"Can Melle stay for dinner?" Sean asked, knowing that she wanted to tell everyone about the adoption.

"I'm fine, really!" Melle insisted.

"Well… it might upset your sister a bit. She's already in the foulest mood about having to come home. She wanted to sleep at Keira's."

Andy looked horrified. "Since when does she have a say in the matter? What are you tiptoeing around her for?"

"I'm not! But she has exams…"

"As do I, your previous favourite. I honestly don't know why anyone would want their best friend to go out with one of their siblings. She should be relieved."

"Would you keep your voice down? And you wonder why I've considered banning you from this shop," Lily told him heatedly, but in a low voice. "I can't believe you're in here. You should be studying. Get right to it." Andy laughed, but made his way out. "You're welcome to stay for dinner," Lily told Melle, but in a strained voice.

"And the meeting," Sean said.

"Fine."

"I don’t think it's appropriate. Really, if you're going to talk about Sean, it's a family thing and none of you really know me yet." She looked guiltily at Sean after saying that. "Anyway, I've got something on this evening."

"What?" Sean asked, but then she had to deal with a customer. Lily went over to someone who'd been in the shop for at least half an hour and was reading a magazine from end to end. She knew it was someone who regularly treated her shop like a library. She used one of her tactics of asking if the guy would like her to order a year's subscription since he obviously enjoyed the publication so much. Melle managed to ring up her customer's newspaper and two magazines without any trouble. "What are you doing tonight?" Sean asked although he knew she knew he was still waiting for an answer.

"I'm meeting with Robert," she mumbled, leaving the counter area and going off to straighten up some of the fiction shelves. Lovely the way people put books back into the wrong places and sometimes even upside down.

Sean followed her while his mother was chatting away to the mag-reader who had eventually started edging his way to the counter to pay for the magazine just so that she would leave him alone. "I'm not sure about the subscription though," he was saying shamefacedly. "I'll see how it goes."

"Did he phone you?" Sean asked, trying to keep his voice calm.

"Yes. And I suppose it's only fair I have a one-on-one talk with him. Plus I've got to give his clothes back, so I have to do some laundry. I think I should skip dinner here too. I really don't want to cause a scene."

Sean was relieved that she was eager to give Robert's T-shirt back, but he still wasn't feeling too secure. "Er, why does it seem as if you weren't going to tell me this?"

"I haven't had a chance to tell you before, have I?" she said defensively.

"When are you working until today?"

"Till it closes, I think."

"Okay, do you want me to drop you at home afterwards, then? So we are on our own for a bit, even if it's while you're doing laundry or whatever." He paused. "Or am I spending too much time with you as it is?"

Melle turned to look at him. "Actually if we could get something to eat somewhere soon, that would be even better. I'm starving. Or have you already eaten?" She glanced over at his mother who was on the phone with a supplier.

Sean lay a hand on his stomach. "Oh, I'd forgotten about food. No, I haven't eaten today."

Lily approached them while they were discussing what they should do about feeding their stomachs. "There are some fresh rolls in the kitchen and there should be plenty to fill them with in the fridge. Melle, please take a break and help yourself. You look a bit… peaky."

Peaky? No one had ever said that to her before, but she was feeling slightly light-headed. "Er… do I? Thank you for letting me have lunch here, and please, I won't be staying for dinner tonight. I have to get home and do laundry and stuff."

"All right." Lily looked relieved. But then added, "We usually only have dinner at about seven-thirty, so if you can make it back in time you can still come."

"Thanks, Mom," Sean said, giving her a kiss on the cheek. "Okay, we'll go inside then before she passes out from hunger, the poor waif."

"Oi!" Melle play-punched him in the stomach.

Sean and Melle found Andy in the kitchen. "Just recharging," he said, his back to them, and then he turned around. "Oh, I thought it was Mum. Well, actually, I'm feeding my face then, to be honest. My second round."

"Any idea what you'd like on yours?" Sean asked Melle. "Sit down, I'll make." He pulled out a chair at the lovely oak kitchen table.

"Oh, anything. Cheese, tomato, whatever."

"Ham? Mayo, mustard?"

"Yeah, sounds fantastic." She marvelled at the array of fridge magnets and the general homeliness of the kitchen. "So, any more siblings I don't know about?"

"Told you, they stopped after Mack," Andy said, passing the margarine tub to Sean. "And he's at school right now. But he'll be back around three, I would imagine."

"What time did you leave for school this morning?" Sean was buttering what appeared to Melle to be five round sesame rolls. Usually she'd have only one, but she wasn't going to complain if he was going to make her two.

"Had early morning soccer practice, so before seven." He dragged out the chair opposite Melle and sat down.

"He's a freakin' goalie most of the time, can you believe it?" Sean told Melle.

"Hmm, cool, haven't known any goalies before. Hey, go easy on the layers, Sean. Won't be able to get my mouth around that if you're not careful."

Andy laughed suggestively. "Yeah, careful Sean."

"Hey! Watch it."

"Where's your sense of humour, man? Look, even Melle is trying not to giggle."

"Am not. I'm openly amused." She took her first delicious-looking bun from Sean.

"So, do you know what this family gathering thing is about tonight?" Andy asked Sean. "Surely not about how we now deal with Robert the King after the two of you, like, happened, is it?"

"Why the fuck would they want to have a meeting about that?" Sean asked testily. "Jeez."

"Ah, you know the parents. They can't believe you stole his girlfriend while he was away. No, they didn't actually speak those words, not around us anyway, but you know, they're supremely aghast and, like, so embarrassed. You know, they think Robert's Mr Perfect." Melle was wide-eyed. And Sean was glaring at Andy. "God, don't shoot the messenger. I'm just saying. I don't care myself and I have to wonder why any girl would want to be with him for any length of time. Okay, okay, I suppose he must be quite attractive, if I look at this objectively, and especially when he wears those caps, they must have been created for him, and it's quite likely he's got, I shudder to say this, a sexy voice, right, Melle?" They both looked at Melle who decided to ignore them and keep eating. "Sorry," Andy said, sounding sincere. "I just couldn't believe the way he came in here last night going on about you being after his girlfriend and how he should have known something was up because you always want what he has. I mean, I almost punched him, but it would have taken too long to get a goalie glove on first. And then he stormed out. Prick."

"Andy, you know, sometimes your mouth is just too big," Sean muttered. "Let's go and eat in my room," he said to Melle.

She was swallowing a mouthful. She felt as if she should say something to Andy, but she couldn't think of anything, so she got up and followed Sean up the stairs. Andy hadn't stayed behind. He was hot on Melle's heels. "Don't worry, I'm going back to my own room to study," he assured her when she looked back at him. "Careful, dodgy step ahead," he warned while she was turning her head forward again.

"Shit!" She was struggling to hold onto her plate and keep her balance at the same time. Andy prevented her from falling while Sean grabbed the plate and stood like a waiter with one plate balanced on each hand at the top of the stairs.

"You can let her go now," Sean said, cross that he hadn't thought to warn her of the stupid, annoying step and that he hadn't been the one to catch her.

Melle recovered her balance and, pink with embarrassment, thanked Andy with some difficulty. "Thought I was being helpful, but next time I'll let her fall down, Sean, just so that I don't touch your girlfriend." Sean rolled his eyes, made a quick one-hundred-and-eighty degree turn and walked to his room.

"And there won't be a next time," Melle told Andy at the top of the stairs. "I'm not so thick I'd miss that sticky-out step again."

"Aw righ' swee'ar'," he said in a funny English accent.

"Are you supposed to be imitating someone?" she asked, giving him an odd look.

"Oh, just Jamie Oliver. He cracks me up the way he talks."

"I think he actually says the 't' at the end of 'sweetheart', even if it is very subtley."

He smiled slowly. "Go on then, Sean'll get worried." He winked at her.

"For fuck's sake," she muttered and nearly slipped on a loose mat. Andy was laughing and she just barely stopped herself from banging Sean's door closed after her.

If you wish to pre-order Look Inside (yes, a personally autographed copy, if that's what you want), please email me at melody@adt.org.za. Comments are very welcome.

Who is Garth Taylor? Come on, who isn't he? Check out his website.