| Volume 3 Issue 4 | April/May 1997 |
[Phase one, excluding anything written in square brackets, was written, if I remember correctly, in early April. It is now late May.]
There are two reasons why this newsletter is late, or at least, I choose to believe that there are only two:
So, anyway, I apologise and I hope that you will forgive me for this mortal sin.
I'm feeling a little like the heading says today. One reason for this is:
It's Sunday and tomorrow is work which I am not looking forward to an entire week of especially since I have to have a dumb meeting with my boss and two of my colleagues regarding the Purchasing which I am supposed to be doing on Sap R/3 - the new networking system UCT is starting to use - for our section. And it was a long time ago that I went on the course for it, so I don't really remember very much of it any more. (Update - we discussed the Purchasing situation this morning in our weekly Establishment Office meeting, and possibly tomorrow afternoon I will be able to do some of the things that have been building up, with Kelvin's help. He is in charge of the fund which all the things we purchase is paid from, so we may never have the meeting with the boss after all, so I'm not exactly worried about that any more.)
I also have a bit of toothache probably caused by the pushing of an obnoxious wisdom tooth (no, I haven't finished getting mine yet. Obviously I am just not wise enough yet) and possibly also a cavity, actually I should admit that I know I have a cavity especially since a few years back I never went back to the dentist for the finishing touches to that particular tooth. I think the last time I was at a dentist was just before I started at university. This is because I hate going to dentists. I go so rarely and because of this I get insulted everytime I go, because dentists can be real sods when it comes to telling you how badly you are doing at looking after your teeth.
[Phase two - apart from the square-bracketed bits - was written, illogically, in March, I think. It was written for this newsletter, but was never actually placed in it until right now in late May.]
My sister's dog, Misty, got taken to the SPCA a few weeks ago. The last time a dog I knew went to the SPCA, she died there. You might remember that Candy, my family's dog, and in effect my dog too since I was living at the house when she became ours, got knocked down by one of the cars last year sometime, and then was also diagnosed with tick fever. She was old too, so I guess not very strong, and she died. I guess I resented the SPCA a little though, because I didn't trust that they had done all they could have. I'll never really know, but they obviously don't have the better facilities that well-paid vets have. So I was unhappy about Misty being there especially once they finally decided that she too had tick-fever (this was after their initial reaction which was that she didn't have it). And I began to wonder if the dogs got tick-fever only after they reached the SPCA. They said she had an eighty per cent chance of surviving. I didn't know what that was based on, but I guess it was better than hearing that she had a twenty per cent chance. I was tempted to get my mother to take her to the vet. I was tempted to volunteer to foot the bill. Because I don't know if I could have forgiven myself if she had died, knowing I could have afforded (I think) to pay a vet. Luckily she made it out of there alive. I was relieved and very pleased. The medication has turned her blood sky blue though. After weeks, she is still that colour. They said it would take a while to leave her system. So she's now this living cool blue dog. And I'm so glad. I thank the SPCA for saving her.
[For any interested parties, Misty has now returned to normal skin colour and no longer looks like a furry smurf. Also, she is friskier than ever.]
[This phase is hopefully the final phase of this newsletter. It is the now phase. I don't mean that when you read it it will be what's happening then and I don't mean that what I will write about will be stuff that's happening to me now. I merely mean that I am writing it now, ie in late May. I shall be no more specific than that for it will probably take me longer than just today.]
April and May have been full months. I don't mean there weren't times I sat around and did nothing. Even this morning I just sat on my beanbag and stared at the gorgeous orange roses we bought on the weekend. They are just so vibrant and beautiful and the nicest-looking deep orange I have ever seen - ten of them. The first time we bought roses like these at Woolworths, they were a gift to Michael's aunt, Jean. Her birthday was on Workers' Day, (which was a public holiday on 1 May if you by some chance are unaware of this) and we were invited to lunch. At the time, Mike's dad was down from Pretoria on business so he was there too. So were Jean's parents (Mike's maternal grandparents) who were staying with Jean and her husband, Dave, for a couple of weeks or so (down from Gauteng too). Jean and Dave live in Llandudno which is near Hout Bay and very scenic. I enjoyed the trip there through the trees, but Michael didn't have much fun because the road winds treacherously (an exaggeration perhaps, but not one I am prepared to retract). Jean was very impressed with the roses and they certainly did display wonderfully once arranged in her heavy, brass vase. I was very pleased that we had chosen the roses. Mike and I had had difficulty trying to decide which flowers to get. I am so terrible at deciding on something, unless something just thoroughly stands out. I loved the roses, but I was skeptical. Often roses only last a day or two. But these roses had attached to them, a packet containing cut plant food, so we thought we'd give them a go, hoping that Jean liked roses. I guess she does. She emailed me about them and everything. And then this past Sunday I was desperate for having some flowers to brighten up the flat so we headed for Woolies and bought these roses and also a Summer bunch, which isn't holding up nearly as well, but which is still lovely for the most part. (I have just removed the offending items and tossed them)
The afternoon in Llandudno was very relaxing. We spent it in the amazing new section they've built as an attachment to their house. It's so authentic, with golden wood and landings and a gorgeous view of the sea and sunset on the horizon.
It was good seeing all of them again.
There were a few moments of difficulty, though, when Jean asked how my parents were. I couldn't answer her question without news of their pending divorce coming out. I just didn't know how to avoid it.
That's another major thing that has happened since my last newsletter. It's something I am probably not going to say much about because of how private various aspects of it are, I suppose. I found out late in March. Wendy told me, first. It wasn't exactly a major shock because things have been pretty horrible for years and years now. I just took in what she said and then my dad told his side and a few days later my mother told hers. And I have just taken a very silent stance. I don't ask anything about it, and I don't say anything as far as possible. At this stage. It's too frightening really. It's one thing feeling that your parents are better off apart from each other and it's another thing accepting it in a deeper sense, it's another thing being contented with the idea. Just last night I was upset because it's Mike's birthday on the first of June, and although the original plan was just to invite friends, I thought that it would probably look terrible if I didn't invite my mother and Lauren too. And my dad. But how can I invite both my mother and father? It's such a painful thing. I haven't even seen my father in nearly two months which is totally pathetic. I mean, what kind of a person am I anyway? It's not intentional or anything. Certainly not consciously, although I suppose it scares me visiting any parent just for the sake of visiting. I'm just not comfortable with it. For one thing, I don't want to talk about the divorce. What is the point? They just say negative things about each other all the time. I can't stand that. And visiting people you love very much yet at the same time who you find it very difficult to communicate with on a deeper level, can be very uncomfortable. I see my mom nearly every day because we work in the same passage, but I haven't seen my dad in so very long. And I do miss him. (Writing this is upsetting me, and when I get upset about something I'm putting into a newsletter, I wonder if I shouldn't avoid it altogether. But I don't want to avoid. There are already a lot of feelings I don't express in my newsletters, although not necessarily intentionally.) Oh, my dad's staying at his parents' place at the moment. I have such a guilty conscience because I haven't yet visited. I certainly do intend to. I just don't know exactly when yet. Why predict when so many of the times I was going to, have already gone by unfulfilled?
I am actually off work today, on sick leave. If I stay off longer than today (no, apparently it's two days?) I will need a doctor's certificate, and visiting a doctor is not my idea of fun. So although I have been encouraged by a couple of colleagues on the phone this morning to stay home the rest of the week and thus to visit the doctor, I guess I'll be back at work tomorrow unless I feel even worse. Perhaps it's the dentist I should be visiting.
Oh, the neglect.
The other leave I have taken this year was seven working days in the first half of April. In our section we have to take our leave when it doesn't overlap with other people's leave, as far as possible. And we had to plan our leave for the whole year. So I got leave approved for April and also for October, although I don't yet know what I am going to do during my October leave.
I was expecting a visitor in April - Philip from Australia - and also Mike's parents and younger sister were planning to come to Cape Town. However, Philip didn't pitch up in April and Mike's parents cancelled their trip due to too many things going on up there and resultant exhaustion. And I ended up with a cold for virtually my entire leave period. But it wasn't a bad cold and I spent a lot of my time writing, which was wonderful. Mike took a couple of days off too, but because he doesn't get as much leave as I do, he couldn't take the full period.
Shame, Michael works so hard and he just doesn't get what he deserves for it. It'll be such a bonus when he's finished paying off his loan at the end of the year.
On Monday, the 28th of April I got an email from Philip Davey, saying that he had reached Botswana, and that he would be getting to Cape Town on the evening of Friday, the second of May. This came as such a surprise. I had begun to think that he had decided to skip South Africa (or Cape Town anyway). You see, he left Australia in October last year to travel Africa and Asia.
And he had sent me a postcard at that time saying that he would probably visit me in April this year. Then earlier this year he sent me a letter from Egypt, confirming that he would be coming to RSA before April 15. Little did I know that the plans had been altered slightly. He sent me a postcard from India early in April saying that he wasn't expecting to get to RSA until May. I only got that postcard on the day I got the 28th of April email. The email I got at work, the postcard only when I got home.
He was going to take a bus from Joburg to Cape Town on the Friday morning, but then he found when he got to Joburg airport that he could get a cheap flight to Cape Town, so he was in Cape Town on Friday morning already. He took an expensive shuttle to UCT, which of course is where I work.
Background - when I was in Australia in February 1995, I met Phil through a friend of a friend of a friend, literally! I knew Jonathan Lloyd through the internet when I was in RSA. So when I was in Australia I made a point of meeting him. Anyway when I stayed with him for a couple of days in Newcastle (NSW), I met his friend, Ruth, who agreed to show me around the place a little. She, at the time, had a daughter called Gillian who is totally amazing. She still has Gillian, but they have both moved to Norway now because Ruth's got a Norwegian man called Tor who she has now married. I haven't spoken to Ruth directly in a couple of months', but I have been told that she now also has another daughter called Matilda, born a couple of months ago. Anyway Ruth and I got along really well and I found myself spilling out my story to her while we were driving along in her Mazda. I suppose she was just so easy to talk to. I told her about the whole mess I'd got myself into with my ex-boyfriend, Eric. She was so busy listening to me, her car nudged the car in front of us, but luckily the driver didn't notice.
When I left Jonathan's to go back to Sydney, which was my base at the time (I had left the original base in Wollongong because the Eric-me situation got too uncomfortable, and was then staying with people originally from Cape Town), I didn't think I'd see any of them again. But we managed to arrange a last get-together. Ruth's friend, Chris, had a place in the Blue Mountains area which apparently was very beautiful. So Jonathan, Ruth, Gillian and I headed there the next weekend or something. We were to spend the night at Chris' place. That night I met Phil who had popped around to Chris' place. Then for some reason Phil invited us to his place, but I think only Jonathan and I went. I think Phil was pretty fascinated by the me-being-South-African thing.
He told me about his recent trip to South America and said that he planned to travel Africa in a couple of years time. Of course it's actually happening now, but at the time it seemed like far in the future, and people tend to say they'll do things they never actually do (like me).
Jon and I eventually returned to Chris' place, slept there and then the next morning we all went for a walk before breakfast, bought breakfast on the walk (croissants, salami, freshly baked bread, great stuff), and then had a wonderful breakfast. Phil turned up during it.
While on the stay at Chris', he took us on a small plane. Wow, that just blew my mind. It was so expensive and I had never been on a six-seater type plane before and not since. Chris is so generous. We also went up the Blue Mountains, saw how blue and extensive they were, and saw Australia's "Three Sisters". Phil and I talked quite a bit, so I guess that is how we became friends and how he came to stay with me and Mike for nearly two weeks.
He's gone now - haven't heard from him since he left here last week Thursday early in the morning. He went along the Garden Route with the Baz Bus, and will probably reach Durban not too far in the future. He planned to stop for a couple of days here and there.
He forgot some of his music tapes here (I presume forgot), but that's about it. I kind of miss him. I mean, when someone you like stays with you for two weeks, you get used to them being around and when they go you miss them. Especially when you may never see them again.
He did lots of things while he was in Cape Town, things we haven't yet done, like walk around on Robben Island and step inside the President's Office, and fall asleep at a parliamentary speech. We did some things with him, though, like take a half-hour boat trip at the Waterfront. That was Wendy's first time on a boat. Mine was in Sydney (I think).
And I suggested we go up Table Mountain. What kind of a nut am I anyway? We couldn't do it the easy way because the cable car is being upgraded. So Mike, Tamsyn, Phil and I went up Skeleton Gorge. My God, how steep is that? Not long after we started, I was already stopping, and decided that either I wasn't going to do it at all or I was going to have to do it at my own pace, which seemed to be stopped every twenty steps. So we decided that Philip could go on ahead without stopping, and Tamsyn thought she'd try that as well, but I was going to stop whenever I wanted because I wasn't prepared to kill myself. Tamsyn shortly fell behind Phil and she, Mike and I took it really slowly. Eating and drinking improved things too. It was extremely hectic and other than the part with the ladders where you had to use your hands as well, I didn't exactly find it enjoyable. It was bloody painful especially on the thighs. We finally reached Phil who had got to a point where the view was pretty much incredible, but didn't include the town area which could best be seen on the side of the mountain where the cable station is. He refused to go any further even though at that point I was still game. He had done some incredibly strenous non-stop walking. I was easily persuaded to go no further. We were still on the top of one section of Table Mountain and that was good enough. We stayed on the massive rock Phil had chosen as a lookout, eating, chatting, resting, for over an hour. We wanted a helicopter to airlift us down the mountain.
But eventually we thought that we had better head down since it was after three and darkness and cold doesn't take too long to set in this time of the year. And the path we found down was Nursery Ravine. Now this path was very steep too. With all the jarring and slipping and leg-shivering and whining that took place, I am sure we all felt a sense of achievement when we eventually got back to Kirstenbosch and lay on the grass there, watching the light clouds flitter across the sky.
I was sore for a week afterwards, but it felt good.
On Saturday the 10th of May, I invited a few friends over for snacks in the afternoon. I thought it would be nice for Phil to meet them and vice versa, and when there are more friends around, great discussions can take place. Also, it's wonderful seeing my friends all together at least once a year ;)
Prakash couldn't make it because he was too sick and Helen had to turn down the invite because she was taking her mother to an early Mother's Day tea at Kirstenbosch so as to avoid the Mother's Day horde the following day. Everybody else arrived between two-thirty and eight-forty-five. Knowing that, you can understand why the "party" lasted until 2am. Nadia, Shelley and Tamsyn arrived the earliest and were going to leave at six because they had to do the taxi thing while daylight still breathed. However, I convinced them to stay, promising that someone would give them a lift home. Poor Michael had to be the chauffeur later, of course, because some of us still don't have our driver's license.
Paul and Clare arrived after four, I think (hard to keep track). And Soshana, Wendy and Jef, after six (or something). Carlos eventually phoned and said that he was stuck somewhere trying to do some computer-related favour for someone. But I said that he should still come because we would all be around at least until "The X-Files" were over. (That was supposed to be the day the new series began, but they ended up showing a highlight episode which was supposed to be followed by the first new episode, but SABC decided that we could wait another week for that!) So he planned to get here after eight, but got lost in the jungle that Wynberg is, and only arrived somewhere in the first fifteen minutes of "The X-Files", but because it was this special highlight episode I don't think he cared that he had missed a portion. Soshana, very tired after teaching Maths to primary school kids all morning, left before the aforementioned TV programme began, but not before the pizza we ordered, arrived. I felt kind of obliged to give some form of supper because, well, it became supper-time at some point. So although I got very little response when I asked who wanted pizza, suddenly when only one pizza arrived, everybody was eager. I mean, I had been prepared to get two. My extravagance amazes me sometimes. I have spent way too much money this month, and it's still a week to the next payday.
Philip wanted to watch Bayete (big local band) in town - R30 to get in - and he even organised to get a table booked for us (not paid for yet though), but nobody else was all that keen to go, so the idea that won out in the end was going to watch a movie - six of us watched "Scream" and the other five watched "Liar Liar". I quite enjoyed the former - it was unpredictable.
Philip (not sure when you're getting this newsletter), I just want you to know that it was good having you here, and I'm so glad you came even if I was too boring most of the time!
Now the next party is happening on 1 June, Michael's 25th birthday. (HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE SWEETEST THING EVER!!!) The plan is to have a chocolate fondue, and lasagne a little later. Nadia will be the co-ordinator.
The next day, Mother's Day, was also my maternal grandmother's birthday. Mike and I bought flowers for both my gran and my mom, and then we took them out for supper at the Spur. In attendance, apart from us, were Wendy, Lauren, Papa (my grandfather) and Phil. 'Twas pretty good.
Next month it's Father's Day. I have no big plan yet.
Last month, our landlady (landperson?) gave us a big shock. She wanted to move back in here (long story, which I am not going to bother relating) and so we had until the end of May to find another place to live. This really sucked. I mean, we haven't even been here a year yet, it's barely over half a year now. We immediately started looking in the papers and at CapeAds on the web, but nothing suitable enough had popped up by the time she phoned about 3 days later saying that she had changed her mind. We had been planning to go through an agency at that point. Of course if this happens again, even if she changes her mind again, it's best that we do move elsewhere. For now, though, I want to see a winter complete itself, before we look for greener pastures.
Oh, we currently have my parents' Opel Manta as our mode of transport. We're borrowing it and have been virtually ever since my dad moved in with his parents. It has been a great help (thanks, Dad), but of course I don't know how long we will have it for. Anyway, by the beginning of next year, perhaps we can buy a car because then Mike won't have his loan to pay off any more (*holds thumbs*), but my god, choosing one out of the millions available is another issue.
Guess who's got a new CD. Yes, the ever-fabulous Wet Wet Wet! The first person to inform me that they had a new single, was Bonnie. She heard this from her brother though. By the time she told me in a letter, she hadn't yet heard it herself. So I started listening out for it and was rewarded within a couple of days. It's called: "If I never see you again" and it's wooonderful (plug). The CD, Wet Wet Wet10, is even more wooonderful (three-pronged plug). The only cover version is "Beyond the Sea". I don't know who sang it originally (written by Trenet/Lawrence), but it's pretty jazzy and I heard it in "Goodfellas" the other night. The most upbeat songs are "Lonely Girl", "Strange Strange Strange" and "It Hurts". The latter brings the CD to a tantalizing end. It makes you want to play the whole thing all over again because it stops so suddenly. The jazziest, with all the brass (The Wets Big Band), are "Beyond the Sea" and "Maybe I'm in Love". They're gorgeous. My current favourites are probably (mood-dependent) "Fool for your love" which is so vibrant, has a clever introductory bit, and has Marti really using his voice, and "The Only Sounds" which is waaay mellow and for me, really special. "Theme from Ten" is an instrumental. It has a calming (yet, dare I say, haunting) effect which makes you drift into your own world.
"Back on My Feat" (yes, it's spelt like that) is kind of countryish, but in the most soulful way possible. "If Only I could be with you" expresses a yearning which is deep and powerful. "I Want You" creeps up on you and pounces. It's very catchy. And yes, it's pretty much a love song album, but it's full of soul and it slows down and then speeds up all the time. It's high and low, soft and loud, deep and fantastical. And they are just so good together - Marti, Neil, Tommy, Graeme C and (let's not forget) Graeme D. I'm so proud of them. I'm now the age they were when I first went nuts over them. The Wets Big Band (14 of them involved! I've just counted) is amazing too, of course. Good on you all.
(Um, Michael, I apologise for playing the CD too frequently. I know how you'd love to get your hands on my neck and strangle me, or, alternatively, how you'd like to strangle them. Of course, I know you like the music anyway. How could you not? *duck*)
I'd like to say how proud I am of myself that I am currently up to date with my email, and how ashamed I am that I haven't been writing papermails in weeks and weeks, aside from a couple I wrote to Bonnie not too long ago. At the same time, I owe Bonnie about eight letters. However, the plan is that when I complete this newsletter, I answer your letters: Bonnie, Kerry, Averall, Darlene, Marcia, Sameera and Peter. I don't think I'm forgetting anyone. But I should also write Philip one.
I find, these days, that when I have a day all to myself, I can get a little depressed or upset or emotional or something. It's because when I'm at work I don't have time to think about personal problems and when I'm with Michael I at least have the comfort of being with him, but like when I was on leave in April and yesterday alone on sick leave, I tended to think about things that were upsetting. My brain basically went into overload. You know, I think about the situation with my parents and my relationship with them, and not having seen my dad in ages (I think Easter was the last time actually). Things like that mainly, I suppose. I also think about things that I have been putting off, like visiting the dentist. I actually think Mike and I should establish a GP and dentist for ourselves, because when other people talk about their GP and dentist or whatever, I think: I don't even have my very own one. I mean, I could go to my family's doctor, but I'd rather not. I've been to him twice or thrice in many, many years, and I kind of just would rather go to a different one. As for dentists, well who knows! I'm so scared of the fright any dentist is likely to get looking into my mouth. Oh, and how I hate pain. Yet, soon I will have no choice. I despise having no choice. This could go on and on.
There were a couple of emails I wanted to include in this newsletter, but I am anxious to get this newsletter done and unfortunately the emails are on my harddrive at work, not here. I shall have to postpone their appearance due to my disorganisation. I'm sorry.
Things recently bought for the flat: a funky Blue Coral Mouse to replace the other crappy one. There's nothing else really. I will be making the final payment on the bedroom suite next week. Then perhaps we will find a suitable lounge suite to replace our deflated bean bags.
It was Nadia's birthday last week and my extravangance extended into the idea of getting her a portable CD/radio/cassette player. Tamsyn and I were both keen, and Mike said he would contribute as well. Then I got Prakash in on the idea. Finally, in giving it to her on Monday evening, we included Shelley in the credits. Nadia's happiness makes a present like that worth giving. Unfortunately I cannot be a constant part of such expensive gift-giving. Unless I started living on the street, which I don't see as a viable option.
Averall asked me what had happened to the birthday list. Erm, it died? You see, I did ask at one stage that everybody let me know when their birthday is so that I don't leave them out when I do the birthday list, but obviously that wasn't first on everyone's list of priorities. And also, I have forgotten some birthdays that I should know. Averall, I have just realised that your birthday was two days ago, 20 May, and I beg your forgiveness for forgetting. I knew it was in May, but yeah. Hope you had a good one. See, I'm useless. Anybody else want the birthday list back?
I have been ircing a lot more frequently than usual. I cannot wait to see the next phonebill. It is bound to be hundreds of rands. This is obviously going to make my day.
Actually it's more likely to make me give up my ircing. But it's been great speaking to some people on there that I haven't spoken to, in ages.
Aside from Mike's birthday, I vote that June should be a frugal month. Sweets should be replaced by vegetables. Everytime I think of eating a chocolate, I should eat a carrot instead. Of course, I do want to get a heater and a lounge suite. But that's different. It's not the same as eating chocolates and going out for supper when you don't feel like cooking.
Also, does anybody want a book list? This would be where you write and tell me about a book you read which you loved and which you think everyone should read.
I know this is not the best put-together newsletter I have ever created, but it is an act of desperation. I would like to go back to that mode where I did an April newsletter before the month started, and you got to read it before April began, because that is how this newsletter was intended. But it seems to be turning out to be a reportback on the month in question, and in this one's case, the months in question. I suppose that is okay too, but I will try not to do a double one like this again. I prefer doing them monthly. So hopefully you will get the June issue at the end of June. I will be pushing myself too much for you to get it by the beginning of June.
Thank you for reading. If you got this far, either it couldn't have been too bad or you skipped everything but the last paragraph.
All my love,
Melody
A DifferenTune is a monthly publication (erm... mostly), previously known (for issues 1.1, 1.2 and 2.1) as A Different Tune. It has existed since I, Melody Joshua, created the November 1995 issue. All correspondence and contributions should be addressed to me at A DifferenTune, 64 Ebenezer Court, Ebenezer Road, Wynberg, 7800, South Africa or melody@adt.org.za. Everything printed in ADT has been written and edited by its creator unless otherwise stated. Back issues and my short stories are available on request. They will be sent free of charge for private, non-moneymaking purposes at the leisure of the creator or immediately for a small fee of three South African standardised mail postage stamps per issue. Foreigners, aliens and exiles may send me one bar of chocolate or box of Astro's per issue instead. These "rules" may change from month to month.