Hi... how are you?

I must admit I have been delaying this issue of ADT. I think I've just been waiting for certain things to happen to me before I update you on what is going on in my life right now. But I don't know when I will get a chance to do the next ADT once those things take place, so here goes. This will probably be the most cryptic bit of correspondence you have ever received from me, but just bear with me okay? If I told you now what is going on with me, you wouldn't believe me. Actually it would take me way too long to explain to those of you who don't already know all about it. But thank you to the friends I have been able to speak to about it over the past few months and who I have confided in and who have supported me and helped me and just been there in the most amazing ways. THANK YOU. And thank you for believing me, believing IN me and for having the most open minds and for being a part of it! There are reasons I can't tell everyone right now (I mean if it was okay for me to tell you all right now, I would. I mean, you know me, when has a long story ever stopped me from writing reams and reams?) But it's personal stuff that involves more than just me, so I can't go telling it to everyone right now. It's still a secret in a big way, I don't want everyone else feeling left out - I think there are only certain people who are ready to know at this point. And sorry to anyone I have freaked out! I've been freaked out at times too, but all doubt has left me now, thank goodness. No longer do I sometimes wonder if I have lost my mind.

For those of you who don't already know, Michael and I split up about three-and-a-half months ago. Exactly 100 months (to the day) together, pretty weird hey? Yes, it's very sad, but it's the way it had to be. Well, we're still friends, better friends than ever actually, and we are still living together. This is still my home. It's just something that I think has to be until the next phase in my life happens. Amazing how things can work out sometimes when you are brave enough to be true to your unique self and honest with and sensitive towards the people you love. Or sensitive to people in general. And when you are not led by your fears. Hey, if you haven't checked out Mars in the night sky yet, you must do it (I hear it's not easy to see the stars in London though!). The bright orange one. My shining star that inspires courage! It was closest to Earth on 27 August (closer than it's been in about 60 000 years), but it's still very bright now.

Remember the days when I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life? Well, hey, I know my purpose now (or a vague outline of it) and that there were reasons I didn't/couldn't know before and my book is only part of it. So that's a good thing, that I have direction! Serious direction! But I can't do it on my own, so I'm waiting on someone else to be ready for me and it too. And this person knows and accepts that I am waiting. I guess I'm still being prepared for it too, learning to deal with my impatience and so much more. Growing. I haven't submitted my book - or a synopsis of it - to publishers because I think... I think it has to be self-published and I need that someone else's input first anyway. You know how I said I had started on the second book? Well, I realised that it was actually the end, the epilogue, of Look Inside, that I was writing. So wow, amazing how you think you've finished a thing and you actually haven't! I added in a couple of other bits too. There was no way I could have written those things a few months ago anyway, I first had to get to the point where I am now and yeah, a few other things had to come to light. Anyway so if you get to the end of it, or the end of the version I have sent you, let me know and I will send you the updated one or I'll send it to you now if you ask. I don't even mind any more that most of you don't have the time to read it yet (or don't want to read it on a computer screen) because I've already got the kind of feedback I need, so don't worry about it! You can wait until it's published.

*SIGH* That's a big sigh, Melody. Yeah, very big. Never mind, everything's gonna be all right.

Oh, just thought I'd mention again that I am not insane. Oops, the first sign of insanity, right? Okay, I am as mad as ever, but not deluded, how's that?

Did my CV (what a pain) and then realised that I probably wouldn't need it because everything I'm doing now is tied up in this big purpose/destiny (wow, I didn't even believe in destiny before, but I do now. You have no idea how my whole life suddenly has meaning now, how I've discovered why certain things happened to me. Wow. Why I am exactly where I am. Still more enlightenment up ahead though!) and yeah, so I think I may never need to go to another job interview. I think. I don't KNOW, cos I do still get things wrong. Haha. To err is human? But anyway I'm actually glad I did the CV, I think perhaps it helped me in some ways to get a perspective on what I have achieved so far. And I even like the thing.

Oh you want some down-to-earth news from me? Hmmm, I still don't watch movies or much TV other than rugby and Idols, but that's mainly because my life is far more interesting and magical than the stuff on the screen. I haven't got back into reading either, although I have read a couple of novels since I wrote my book and some other non-fiction stuff. But I think it's the way it has to be at the moment so that I can live the realest life possible.

Michael and I saw some whales in False Bay yesterday, so that was nice. For a bit it was like, hmm is that a seal or a whale? But no definitely they were whales.

It was P4 Radio's sixth birthday bash at Dockside on Friday night. Great value for money it was too! Okay Michael paid for me to go (Thank you, thank you, thank you) and he had to drop me there because my partner-in-crime, Verity (sorry, David, she's only your partner-in-crime during working hours), could only come later. She missed out on Garth (my favourite) Taylor and Jae and much of Loyiso (both very, very good), but even so I think she still thought it was worth it! Jonathan (very gifted) Butler was the final act and he and his band put on quite a performance! Very intense stuff. I would have loved to have gone to the Simply Red concert on the 13th of September, but the money... you know... however Kelvin and Belinda took my spirit along with them and supported the support act on my behalf. Not that they didn't enjoy him independently of me - glad you got one of his CDs, Belinda! And Verity's got a Garth (Thanks for finishing my book) Taylor lighter for me that someone else got at the concert. Not that I smoke of course. Oh and one more thing about the Why man, Shirleen, Tamsyn and I went to watch him and Melanie Lowe launch their superbly funky Islands in the Stream single at Westend & Galaxy on 29 August. Tamsyn and I managed to sneak in with comps. Man, that place was already packed to the brim at 8pm. What did you tell Mel and Garth when you called in to P4, David? That they did a "bladdy fantastic job on that song", right? You should have heard him, David phones in while M & G are in the P4 studio and he says, "At first when I heard... Melanie Lowe, I thought OH NO, but then when I heard her sing, I thought Woooow!" The nerve of some people! I didn't even realise it was David at first... but typical cheekiness, I suppose! Melanie was like, "Oh thanks for that!" Amused, but obviously also thought he had a nerve. And David cackling away and saying, "Nah, you guys did a brilliant job." These friends of mine, honestly. Good for you, David! And thanks for that River Club lunch the other day, DB.

Thanks to Shelley for that Kauai breakfast and Sameera for that Primi Piatti dinner and JB Rivers Milo. And to Verity for all the lunches etc. And thanks to Melanie, Verity's sister, for dinner at her place when Verity's friend, Eric, from the US of A was here. Oh and the other dinner at your place, Mel. And thanks to Eric for paying for me to get into that 169 club, it was also really cool to meet you! Honestly, thanks to everyone who has done so much for me. Lucky me. But then... you kind of make your own luck too.

On 24 September (Heritage Day, our Proudly South African public holiday I guess you could call it), Tamsyn and I went to a new writer's event at the Centre for the Book called Turning the Page. Thanks for sponsoring me, Tamsyn! (And a very special THANK YOU for everything else you have done for me!) Certainly it was useful in some ways and we had a very interesting day! Even spent some time in the Gardens. Ashraf works at the Centre for the Book's Writer's Network and he was also there with another playwright called Greg MacArthur who is Canadian. On the weekend prior to that, I watched (along with Michael, Lauren and Ross) a performed reading of Ashraf's new play Happy Endings are Extra on the Saturday and (along with Michael and Shirleen) Greg's Snowman on the Sunday. Thanks so much for the comps, Ashraf! And well done to both of them for a couple of very innovative (age-restricted) plays.

My sister, Wendy, is in Norway at the moment. She's working in England these days (up for a live-in coastal job soon, we hope!), but managed to get a cheap flight to Norway for a few days. Staying with her friend, Jamie. Lauren still lives here, slaving away over those textbooks and putting up with my psychotic rantings :)

There are quite a few of you I owe emails to (sorry!) and I should be able to get onto them soon...

Hey, here are a few old pics for you. I don't have any new ones at the moment. See, Wendy, I do think of you while you are so far away!

Above: We're not sure what I was about to do with that ball when that pic was taken, but it looks violent.

Above: Otherwise known as the Colgate ad photo.

Above: Seriously stoned? Man, I need to get some red slippers like those again!

Cheers, and as usual, thanks for reading!

MPJ.

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NB. This ender changes from time to time: A DifferenTune is a sometimes publication, previously known (for issues 1.1, 1.2 and 2.1) as A Different Tune. It has existed since I, Melody Pearl Joshua, created the November 1995 issue. All correspondence and contributions should be addressed to me at melody@adt.org.za or 2 Chesterton, Blackheath Road, Kenilworth, 7708, South Africa. Everything printed in ADT has been written and edited by its creator unless otherwise stated. Back issues are available on request. They will be sent free of charge for private, non-moneymaking purposes at the leisure of the creator or immediately for a small fee of three South African Standard Postage stamps per issue. Foreigners, aliens and exiles may send me 100 grams of Cadbury's milk chocolate per issue instead.